Twins at Kansas City. Twins 4, Royals 2.

Batgirl’s just lost five years off her life. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Twins were leading the Royals 4-1. J.C. Romero started the inning with a five-pitch walk to Matt Stairs. As devoted Twins fans know, walks will haunt—especially lead-off walks in the ninth. Then Gardy brought in Joe Nathan, who struck a guy out, then promptly hit a batter and gave up a single. Then, with three men on, he walked the next batter—and if you thought walks haunted before, they haunt a lot with the bases juiced. It then took Nathan two excruciatingly long at bats to retire the side and win the game for the Twins.

All of this is remarkably familiar. Batgirl’s life has already been irrevocably shortened by the tenure of Eddie Guardado as Twins closer. And Nathan is proving himself to be exactly the same closer as Everyday Eddie, except without all the pants tugging. In Nathan’s appearances so far, one theme has manifested; the greater the Twins lead, the worse he’ll suck. Obviously, a direct relationship between magnitude of lead and depth of suckage is much better than an inverse one (see: Bob Wells), but still, won't they think of Batgirl? He will end up with 45 saves, and Batgirl will love him, but it will be a long and winding road.

Oh, and Guzie? Field the freakin’ ball. Thank you.