Tom Powers of the PiPress has a great interview today with Rick Stelmaszek--prophet, philosopher, bullpen coach.

What goes on out there?

Life in the bullpen involves mostly trying to find a cure for boredom, as Twins coach Rick Stelmaszek knows only too well.

Q: I hear that the worst experience in baseball is having to use that bullpen toilet at Fenway Park.

A: It's improved there! Instead of just a hole in the ground with a toilet on top of it, they have running water. They put in a floor, also. But there are no lights.

Q: How do you use a toilet with no lights?

A: Very carefully.

Q: You're sort of trapped out there, too.

A: LaTroy Hawkins said to me one time, "I've got to go to the bathroom, but I can't go in there." What does he want me to do about it? It's between innings. In Boston, there's no way around. You've got to go across the field to get to the clubhouse. I tell him he better hurry up. There goes Hawkins, running across the field.

Q: We don't actually have a bullpen at the Metrodome.

A: No, not to speak of. Not an enclosed area. We can actually work off the (dugout) bench here.

Q: Which are the worst bullpens for the visiting team?

A: Chicago (U.S. Cellular Field), because it's close to a bar. A bar in the stands. That's a bad combination. There is nothing worse than drunks, about the sixth inning, trying to tell you what to do. At Baltimore, the people stand above you. We've had golf balls, rocks, beer, all kinds of stuff thrown in there. Why would you waste beer?

Q: Any good ones?

A: The one I like best is the one in Houston. The new park. You're kind of underneath, away from all the noise. It's kind of peaceful. You get a chance to just watch the game and do what you're supposed to do. And at Wrigley they're pretty friendly. They're right on top of you, but overall they're pretty good and friendly.

Q: What about Yankee Stadium?

A: New York isn't bad because a lot of time there aren't a lot of people in left field. And they are policed pretty good over there. You really don't get as much flak as you would think.

Q: Ever see anything really weird happen in a bullpen?

A: Nothing you could put in the paper.

Q: How do guys kill time when they are out in one of those remote bullpens, like the one in Kansas City?

A: You shoot the breeze. Sometimes guys play trivia. (Mike) Trombley was a good time-killer. He liked to talk and always had some type of trivia game going.

Q: Any disputes arise?

A: Oh, yeah, there'd be some heated arguments and everything else. "You're wrong! You're wrong!" There's nothing happening in the ballgame and you get a bunch of scurrying in the bullpen. All of a sudden the phone rings: "What's going on down there?"

Q: You have to keep law and order.

A: I'll tell you what: the one thing in the bullpen that really ticks me off... is when they flick those #$%% pumpkin seeds. They play closest to the line. We're getting our butts handed to us and I'm telling them, "Pay attention; you're going to be in the ballgame.' And they're playing closest to the line. I finally tell them, 'If you guys had as good control with your fastball as you do with your pumpkin seeds we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with."

— Tom Powers

Bullpen coach Rick Stelmaszek has been with the Twins since 1981. He has seen every bullpen from the "pillbox" at old Tiger Stadium to the fancier ones of the 21st century. We caught up with him during the Twins' most recent homestand and chatted about life in those baseball outposts.

Posted by Batgirl at May 16, 2004 11:48 AM