Twins at Royals. Royals 5, Twins 2.

I'm referring, of course to J.C. Romero's 0-2 pitch that hit half-human half-rabbit Royal shortstop Angel Berroa in the seventh. While I'm sure the pitch caused substantial pain to Mr. Berroa, who has no actual muscle or body fat, that's nothing compared to the agony suffered by the Minnesota Twins and those who love them so when that fastball hit that shoulder. Earlier in the inning, Johan Santana had given up the game-tying run off a solo homer to Matt Stairs, then a single and a four-pitch walk. So, Romero came on with runners on 1st and 2nd, got Berroa in an 0-2 hole, and then… boom.

Damn, that hurt.

Because Carlos Beltran was up next, and, as we all know, if Carlos Beltran is up with the bases stuffed late in the game, it's pretty damn likely he's going to hit a bases-clearing double. Which is exactly what he did.

This hasn't been a pretty few days. In fact, the month of May hasn't exactly been high on the pulchritude charts. It all started with the crazy week where the pitchers totally ruled but we couldn't get any hits even if Britney Spears had performed them for us. Then there was a five-game winning streak and it seemed all our top 40 problems were solved. But after that, well, let's see, the whole starting line-up got hurt, the bullpen manifested a split personality disorder not seen since Dr. Jekyll met Mr. Hyde, all the non-Radke starting pitchers got a wee eccentric, and Jose Offerman played second base.

All of which has led to an 11-15 record in May, and perhaps a little despair amongst Batgirl's readership. I know, I can feel it. And my heart cries for you, for all of you.

But listen: it is not time to despair. It is not. Everybody slumps. They do. Remember last year? Remember before the All-Star Break? Remember how wretched we were, wandering lost through baseball stadiums with our dirt-streaked faces and our ratty scraps of clothes just begging for someone to put us out of our 25-man misery?

The Twins have shown that they have the elements of a winning ball club—it's just none of those elements have come together at the same time. Santana and Lohse need to get themselves together—but JoJo was good again today. The batters need to stop freaking out at the plate and remember that they're not going to hit homers, so it's best not to try. The bullpen needs massive and immediate psychotherapy. And Jose Offerman needs not to play second base. It's not so hard. We can do this.

But I do wonder if the team needs some kind of boost, and I'm not talking the 1-800-GET-VIBE variety. So, answer me this, BatFriends: If you could do one thing to make this team better, if Carl Pohlad gave you license to get one good player (and clearly we're in the realm of BatFantasy here)—who would it be? Batgirl, personally, wants a great set-up guy—she wants LaTroy Hawkins, J.C. Romero (the 2002 edition), Juan Berenger, Carl Willis—the guy that comes in in the eighth inning and is lights out, the guy that means no one can score on us after the 7th. And you, sweet BatLings? What do you want?