Today's game was notable, not just for the much-needed Twins victory, but for one of the craziest sort-of-but-not-really-double plays Batgirl has ever seen. It wasn't just Batgirl who was driven to question the very laws of nature after the incident; the affair mired FSN announcers Dick and Bert in an existential goo that they couldn't recover from until umpire emeritus Steve Palermo came to the booth and spoke to them soothingly about the nature of free will. Dan Gladden, doing the play-by-play on 'CCO, watched the whole thing in stunned silence, and then during the exegesis the next inning he and Gordo said the following [thanks to kw for the transcript!]:

Gordo: You know what? I thought maybe the umpires might call the infield fly rule... with the batter automatically out and the runners advancing at their own risk. But the ball was really a little deep for that.
Dazzle: Yeah, the fielder has got to be under the ball to call the infield fly.
Gordo: What woulda happened if they'da done that? That woulda been really crazy!

After the game, Batgirl—ever trying to serve her readership—called up the 'CCO show after the game to ask why Carlos Beltran was out, only to have Jack Morris tell her that runners can't advance on an infield fly. Which confused Batgirl all the more, until she looked the rule up. And she learned that the only person who understood what happened on the field was Jacque Jones, who appears to have some freakish, Rain Man-like knowledge of the rules of baseball.

So here, gentle readers, we will try to explain the incident to you:

With the bases loaded and one out, Kyle Lohse faces Mike Sweeney.

Sweeney pops up to shallow right. Dougie, Cuddy (playing 2B) and Jacque Jones all go for the ball.

The first base ump signals that the infield fly rule is called, as Dougie catches the ball. Carlos Beltran begins to head to 2nd.

Cuddy backs square into Dougie, who drops the ball. No catch has been made, but Mike Sweeney is still out at first by virtue of the infield fly.

Bewildered, Mike Sweeney stays at first, while Carlos Beltran runs for second, and Angel Berroa stays planted at second base. In right field, Doug scampers for the ball.

Desi Relaford tags up from third (unnecessarily, since there was no catch) and heads home, while Doug gets ready to hurl the ball home…

…and he fires the ball right in Sweeney's back. "I've been hit!" Sweeney cries, before he falls to the ground.

The ball ricochets off Sweeney's back and rolls into foul territory. Henry Blanco runs for the ball, while the perspicacious Jacque Jones speeds his way to first from right field. Meanwhile, Carlos Beltran sees Berroa stopped at second, and heads back to first..

…where Jacque Jones tags him out.

And that, my dear readers, is that. For more, please read the MLB.com recap of the game.

Posted by Batgirl at May 30, 2004 09:54 PM