Twins at Arizona. Twins 8, Diamondbacks 4.

With fifth-decader Terry Mulholland facing against the just post-pubescent Andrew Good, it was the past verses the future on the rubber in Arizona tonight. And, for once, the past kicked the future's ass. It was a victory for everyone who preferred Seinfeld to The Simple Life, Alanis Morrisette to Avril Lavigne, Michelle Pfieffer's Catwoman to Halle Berry's, Martha Stewart the icon to Martha the con, George Clooney on ER to whoever-the-heck they have now. Tonight's game was for everyone who crossed that bridge to the 21st century, took a good look around, and wanted to turn around and run right back.

Yes, while Andrew Good gave up six runs in less than 3 innings, Terry Mulholland provided his team with a perfectly adequate start. And in our desperate hunt for someone to at least be able to keep us in the thing every fifth start, "perfectly adequate" is perfectly good.

For a few innings tonight Terry Mulholland pitched like a man in his thirties. He gave up just two hits and one walk in the first four innings; of course one of those hits was a Luis Gonzales dinger, but still. The fifth inning didn't go as well for Terrance—a 6-1 game became 6-4 awfully quickly. But you can't really blame Mulholland for losing it in the fifth; he just can't stay up as late as he used to.

Then it was time to build that bridge right back to 2004; for the nineties may have given us Batman, but now we have Spiderman—plus there's OutKast, the Lord of the Rings movies, and most of all, there's Joe Mauer.

And there's 27-year-old Grant Balfour, the pitcher who Batgirl's brother once referred to as the "Blunder from Down Under." Well, who's blundering now? Balf (if I may) has suddenly become fierce as a baby-eating dingo—tonight he struck out five of the six batters he faced, which is Australian for awesome.

The Twins managed eight runs tonight, thanks to homers from Dougie and Joe, and some pretty bad D-back pitching. One can only imagine the hitting will continue; tomorrow we face some guy named Randy Johnson, and he's way old.

Posted by Batgirl at July 3, 2004 11:40 PM