Batgirl is flummoxed. For the first two days of voting, Juan Rincon was trailing Joe Nathan by a good 20-30 percentage points. But when Batgirl woke up, Boo Berry had 65% of the votes. How could this be? Had a hundred of Boo Berry coincidentally come to Batgirl during the wee hours of the morning? Or were there some darker influences at work...like, perhaps...SHENANIGANS?

Batgirl has no way of tracing the votes--this is what happens when computer voting doesn't leave a paper trail. And the whole integrity of the contest has been shot. Can't a Batgirl run a simple contest without shenanigans? Can't we vote in the 21st Century without conflict? Can't Twins fans band together to proclaim a BULLPEN IDOL who will earn the people's ovation and fame forever?

What, indeed, has happened to America? Have the terrorists already won?

And what is a Batgirl to do, oh wise readers? Declare co-champions? End the voting before the purported shenanigans? Saw the finalists in half and divide them between the parties?

These are hard times, my dears. Hard times indeed.