Boston at Twins. BoSox 8, Twins 2.

Batgirl: Picking up BatPhone and dialing.
Kyle: Yello?
BG: Kyle?
KL: Hey, Batgirl!
BG: Hey Kyle…um…how are you?
KL: Great!
BG: Hesitantly. ….Really?
KL: Oh, sure, why shouldn't I be?
BG: …um…well…
KL: Hey, have you seen Kris Benson's wife? Man, she's hot. She should of come here, I'd tell her my Grand Casino story.
BG: Sure, but—
KL: I'd give her a Gutter Helmet.
BG: Okay, yeah—
KL: I'd show her my solid Cambria countertop.
BG: Kyle!
KL: Sorry, Batgirl
BG: Anyway, Kyle. So I was listening to the game…
KL: Oh, yeah, could you believe that?
BG: Believe what, exactly?
KL: Oh man. I mean, first off, the ump was squeezing me. Hard. Secondly, Henry Blanco can't call a game worth a crap. I mean, god, was he just called up yesterday? And nice run support, guys, thanks so much! I mean when I took the mound in the second I didn't have any runs, can you believe that? And then, did you see where the infielders were playing? God, I don't know what Newmie's been smoking. And then Gardy takes me out in the 5th! Can you believe it? I swear, he's got something against me.
BG: I see. ...Hey, Kyle?
KL: Yes, Batgirl?
BG: Listen, Kyle, I was wondering, have you ever thought that maybe you're not having a very good year?
KL: Pause. Huh?
BG: I mean…have you ever thought that maybe you have no one to blame but yourself?
KL: Pause. Huh?
BG: Sighing. Hey, do you have a mirror around there?
KL: Oh sure. Right on my ceiling…Wanna come over and see it?
BG: No thanks. Hey, Kyle, do me a favor?
KL: Anything, Batgirl.
BG: Take a look in the mirror for me. A good look. Are you looking? What do you see?
KL: A very handsome young man.
BG: Okay. Now, Kyle, I want you to close your eyes. I want you to take a deep breath and then exhale, while I count to ten. With every number I want your mind to empty a little more.
KL: Damn, Batgirl, you're freaky.
BG: Come on, Kyle, have I ever led you astray? Remember the Royals game?
KL: …I pitched a complete game shutout!
BG: I know. And why?
KL: Grudgingly. Batgirl.
BG: Good. Now, you're ready? Let's go. Close your eyes…good…take a big inhale, good, and…ten. Your mind is full. You are extremely handsome. You are an awesome pitcher. Gardy doesn't know what he has. Someday you'll play for the Yankees. Nine…begin to empty your mind….Forget about Gardy. Forget about your shutout… Continues on to one… There, Kyle, now is your mind empty?
KL: Huh?
BG: Okay, good. Now, open your eyes and look in the mirror.
KL: Okay, sure, I…Pause. OH MY GOD… I SUCK!
BG: Sighing heavily. I know, I know, honey.
KL: No, I mean, I'm TERRIBLE!
BG: I know, I know.
KL: I mean, I'm God-awful! I'm pitching like crap!
BG: I know.
KL: Like ass-crap. Like crap warmed-over. I've been horrible all year! I deserve to be sent down! I've been outpitched by Terry Mulholland, and he's 100 years old.
BG: Now, Kyle, he's only 75.
KL: Sniffing. Oh my god, I'm the worst pitcher ever. Why have they put up with me so long?
BG: I don't know, Kyle. I guess they just don't have anyone else.
KL: Sniff. And what's worse, I've been acting like an ass!
BG: True.
KL: I've been trying to mask my insecurity through arrogant bluster! Sniff. I've been blaming everyone but myself for my own problems! Snort. I've grown these awful chin pubes! Gasp.
BG: Yup.
KL: Sobbing. I can't help it. Life has just been so hard. None of the other Twins love me. Johan's better looking than I am. No one knows how to pronounce my name. Rick Anderson's mustache scares me. Corey Koskie gave me a wedgie. When I was in 7th grade, I got beat-up by a girl. My mom left my dad for another woman. I had pimples in high school. Juan Rincon makes fun of me in Spanish. My underwear chafes. My cat is on anti-anxiety pills. Mary-Kate is an anorexic! Friends is over! The retro uniforms made me look fat!
BG: There, there, Kyle. There, there.
KL: Sniff. Why can't Lindsey Lohan and Hillary Duff just get along? Carl Everett sat on me during the bench-clearing brawl. Halle Berry's double in Catwoman was a guy! Alice Hoffman's latest book was turgid! The Miss America Pagent discontinued the talent competition! The tone of the presidential election has been so harsh! I have hair in my ears!
BG: Okay, Kyle. Get it together.
KL: Sniff. Sniff. Pause. …You're right, Batgirl. You're right. I'm a mess, but I'm going to be totally different now.
BG: I'm going to send you a name, someone who I think does really good work. I'd like you to give him a call. But you made great progress tonight. I'm really proud of you. The healing begins now.
KL: Sniffing. Yes it does, Batgirl. Yes it does.