Cleveland at Twins. Twins 7, Extremely Offensive Cartoons 3.

In the sixth inning today, after Torii "Sweetcheeks" Hunter cleared the bases with a long double, C.C. "Big Boi" Sabathia beaned Dr. Morneau in the wrist. Morneau was obviously in pain, and when trainer Jimmy Kahmann came running out of the dugout, as is his wont, it looked as though he might be running right for the mound…and Sabathia. It would make perfect sense; a few months ago Batgirl called Kahmann the hardest working man in athletic support, and that was about 35 injuries ago. Kahmann's logged a lot of miles this season hurrying to various injured players on the field, and Batgirl has watched, trying to determine exactly what his stiff-backed running style reminds her of. Today she decided it is something between an ostrich and a carp.

Anyway, you couldn't blame Kahmann if he did totally lose his shit today and charge Sabathia. Morneau is really the only healthy player we have left. Batgirl imagines him falling into some kind of berserker rage, spinning around like a psychopathic top, with teeth gnashing and fists and legs flying everywhere. "This is for Torii Hunter's neck," he'd shout. "And this is for Little Nicky Punto! Here, this is for Joe Mauer, do you like that? Well do you, !@#$*&?"

Alas, Kahmann was only ostrich-carping to check the health of Morneau, who did indeed survive the injury. Sabathia, however, was quickly dispatched to the showers by Cleveland manager Eric Wedge—though were you a Cleveland fan…

well, first of all, hi! How are you? How's second place treating you? Good? Oh, I'm so glad. Remember all the taunting and boasting you bestowed on us last week? Oh, you don't remember? Well, I can't blame you. Gut wrenching seven-game losing streaks do tend to mess with your memory. A little ginkgo biloba and you'll be just fine. See you next year!

...where was I? Oh, yes; were you a Cleveland fan you might think that Wedge might have considered pulling C.C. a tiny bit earlier. Like, say, maybe in the 5th, when the game was tied 2-2, and Shannon Stewart led off with a ball that went about 407 feet to dead away center. C.C. then walked Lew Ford and gave up a single to Sweetcheeks who advanced Luscious Lew to 3rd. Justin Morneau hit a sac fly (hitting the ball about 406 feet), then LeCroy singled in Torii. Advantage, Twins.

C.C. was cooked, but he strutted out in the sixth inning anyway, hat sassily askew, and proceeded to load the bases, thanks to a Guzie single, a Blanco beaning, and an intentional walk to Shannon Stewart. Lew Ford popped out, and then Torii came on with two out and worked Sabathia for a 76-pitch at bat. Torii fouled off more pitches during this plate appearance than he's taken all season. It was as if he had suddenly been possessed by the ghost of Shannon Stewart—all the more strange since Stewart was standing 90 feet away at first base. I know walks are supposed to haunt, but that's a little silly.

Eventually, Torii found his pitch, which he hit to the very top of the baggie, driving in three runners and sending Sabathia into some kind of roid rage, which he took out on poor Morneau's wrist.

Morneau will heal, with some rest and a little ice, but will Cleveland? They were so happy last week, so excited, so positive they were going to overtake the Twins and win the Central. Now, even Chief Wahoo's smile looks a little forced. The Twins were one game up on Sunday, and today they're seven up. In this series, the Twins outscored Cleveland 20-5. Now, if we've learned anything the past couple of weeks, it's that fortunes rise and fall very quickly—but it's hard not to look at the Twins right now as a team still rising.