Twins 8, Rangers 5, 11 innings

--TOP SECRET--

--FOR YOUR EYES ONLY--

This is a TOP SECRET cover sheet.

Reports from the field are coming in but it does appear that Batgirl is, in fact, on special assignment in the jungles of Newfoundland. Little more can be divulged concerning her whereabouts or her mission other than the already presented maple leaf/ass project (M.L.A.P.) but be advised that she is extremely well equipped for such a mission.

Nonetheless, meetings were called and steps were taken to continue her activities here.

Secret Emergency Meeting

In her stead, a crack team of agents will cover. They are industrious. They are occasionally insidious. They are excitable and not to be trifled with. Nor tickled. Never tickle them?.especially el diablo.

Below continues our dossier with mr. diablo.

CODENAME: el diablo

Rare photo of el diablo on assignment

LOCATION: a lair in Oregon
FILE NOTES: He likes the Twins. He's known Batgirl for many moons. He grew up in Minnesota. He knows all about Steve Lombardozzi. He likes pants. He likes to write in the third person. He occasionally exfoliates. He has been known to free form dance. He staples like a madman. He is a madman. He rocks out to music of rock. He has Justin Morneau on his fantasy baseball team. He has a tendency to go off on stream of consciousness tangents that he likes to call "poetry."

el diablo is already in deep cover and has begun transmitting reports. Below is his latest communique:

Small ball. Big ball. Boom. Torii has two ?i?s? in his name. There is no ?i? in team but there sure as hell is ?insanely incredible? in Torii and Torii is all about team. He catches balls. He gracefully falls. The Twins have players named Augie. Pogosticks make bad pictures. Worse yet, Lohse makes bad pitcher. When faced with the undeniable fact of time-based festival art that limits the words of the Everyman, one must remember that the Hunter will return. The future of soundtracks is in the Giant Sand and keep also in mind that Dr. Morneau is a boomieboomie man. Do not offend him, fiend. Cross over the Borders. In the 11th inning, all will be revealed. Stewart of strange bat sticking invents new ways to move a ball from his bat to the outfield. Splendiforous! Jones is faster than everyone thinks, even his Mommy. Torii make madness. Madness make win. Ghaaaaaah.

In a word: cryptic. Obviously, he's working in a different milieu. Our researchers believe he may be on an entirely different elemental plane. While some may be concerned that he may not be of sound mind nor body nor even shoe, Batgirl has put his trust in him and we believe that he and his colleagues will continue the good fight.

Needless to say, with Torii on our side, anything is possible.

It is not only possible, it is essential.

--END TRANSMISSION--

Posted by el diablo at September 1, 2004 02:04 AM