Twins 4, Royals 3

Written by mmmarkiep

The Metrodome was transformed into a giant time machine to the future this morning. Sitting in section 141, I got a glimpse of the future of the Minnesota Twins. In the future the Twins can no longer afford Shannon Stewart and Torii Hunter and the outfielders move on leaving Gardy to play Lew Ford in center field and Jason Kubel in left. Cordel finally admits that he's been playing the last 2 seasons with all but two bones (his cocyx and one of the piggies that went whee whee whee all the way home) in his body broken from trying to jump 46 grizzlies with a sled dog team to get on Canada’s version of Fear Factor. He retires leaving third base open for Terry "I'm sorry I thought you said Tiffany." Tiffee. Luis Rivas just ffffffades away replaced by Michael Cuddyer. With Jacque Jones in right, Dr. Morneau at first, Dirt Borders behind the plate and Carlos Silva on the mound, that was this morning’s starters.

The day's festivities started off with TC Bear winning the softball home run derby, and the guy behind me going on for 5 minutes to his young son about watching his foot. The kid had eleven toes or something, losing one is only going to make adapting to a 10 base system easier. Let it go already. Jason Kubel's lead off double made us think he forgot he wasn't still in Triple AAA. Then again, maybe he's seen better pitching in AAA ball, I don't know. He was so excited he almost got picked off second. A Jacque Jones ground out and Lew Ford walk later, Morneau make ball go bye bye. 3-0 Twins. That was really the most exciting part of the game for a quite some time. Which gave me time for some random observations. More on that later.

The next real bit of excitement came in the 6th. First, the ball is hit deeeeeeep to center field, Lew Ford is back, back, leaps at the wall and ... it bounces in and out of his glove. He took second in the Torii Hunter impersonation contest. First place went to a kid from Mahtomedi who spelled his name with two ii's, Biily Andersen. Then, Jason Kubel showed he wanted to play big leaguer, too. With a runner on third, he makes the fly ball catch in left, the runner tags, Kubel throws, Border's thinks "I'm too old for this shit.", there’s going to be a play at the plate. OUT! As a defensive minded guy, give me a diving catch, a well turned double play, or fantastic throw to the plate any day.

One wild pitch from JC Romero later and it's a tie ball game. Which is just the Twins way of giving back to the fans. Three runs in the first and then nothing? That's no good. Let's make it exciting. Bottom of the ninth, Terry Tiffee at the plate. He does that little hip shake that drives the women in the Dome wild. He's 2 for 3 on the day. The fans are on their feet. Here's the pitch. CRACK! The crowd gets louder, louder, going, going, gone! A walk off home run for Terry Tiffee and the Twins win! Twins win! Twins win! It's a beautiful thing this view of the future.

Random observations from today's game:

-- Dodge's marketing slogan of "Open it up from either end." Would make a good slogan for food poisoning.
-- This is the best time of year for Metrodome food vendors. The state fair food mentality takes over and people just can't get enough of that good ol' dome food.
-- The salsa version of "Smoke on the Water" is kind of catchy, don't you think?
-- The Royals Matt Stairs should really consider having his jumbotron picture redone by Glamour Shots. I honestly think they could have put up John Kruk's picture and no one would have noticed.
-- If you get a foul ball, and it's because you're the only person sitting in a section, and you had to crawl under the seat to get it because you couldn't catch it even on the fourth bounce, and it's three pitches later, don't hold it up like you conquered something. It's just not the same. Really it's not.
-- I swear I saw something on the score board about Borders originally being drafted in the third round by the Brooklyn Dodgers. He once caught Babe Ruth, I think.
-- Speaking of Pat Borders, when he laid down the sacrifice bunt, a truly beautiful work of art as far as bunts go, I had a sudden flashback to the movie Major League where the over the hill catcher Jake Taylor, played by Tom Berenger, bunts and Willie Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes) scores the game winning run. But, um … nothing like that happened. The runner just advanced. So, it wasn't exactly the same.
-- When it's reallllly quiet in the Metrodome and you yell "Balk! Balk!" it really just sounds like a loud, crazed, angry chicken.
-- Have you ever noticed that trampled cotton candy looks like Peeps poop?
-- Leaving the Dome, I noticed a woman, with a cast on her leg, limping along. She was wearing a t-shirt that read "Ping Pong Champion." I thought, "Rough sport."
-- Isn't Peeps poop fun to say?

And, once again, the final score from the Metrodome: Twins 4, Royals 3. I'm mmmarkiep, for myself, and .. uh .. the guy behind me, my girlfriend, and my buddy John, thanks for reading, we'll see you next time.

Posted by el diablo at September 4, 2004 07:21 PM