ALDS Game 2: Twins at New York. Yanks 7, Twins 6

At the BatQuarters. Batgirl is lying amidst several prescription bottles, some clumps of hair, and a few pints of Sebastian Joes. The BatKitties and Jeb are hiding underneath the couch, eyes like saucers. The phone rings. Batgirl starts up, and reaches over and grabs the phone.

BG: Hello?
Voice: Batgirl?
BG: Torii!
Torii: Hey babe! How's it going?
BG: How's it GOING? How's it GOING? HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING?
Torii: What do you mean?
BG: WHAT DO I MEAN? Were you AT THE GAME? ARE YOU DRUNK?
Torii: Hey, B, I can't really understand you. You're shrieking.
BG: FORSHIZZLE I'M SHRIEKING. Torii! My heart. My heart has been ripped out of my chest.
Torii: Oh, because of the game?
BG: YES BECAUSE OF THE GAME! What do you THINK? Hold on a second… (Batgirl reaches down, grabs a prescription bottle, opens it, and downs the contents.)
Torii: Oh, B, chill. It's totally fine.
BG: Huh?
Torii: Aw, sure, I mean, that was hard at the end there. Sure would have been fun to win and come in 2-0. But, you know, we'll get 'em in four.
BG: You will?
Torii: Totally. This one wasn't ours. Brad just didn't have his stuff, but, man, it sure was fun to come back on Rivera.
BG: But…but…it didn't matter!
Torii: Didn't matter? Are you crazy? We showed these guys we're for real. No one comes back on Rivera. We're in his head now. We're in all their heads. They know we're not the team we were last year. They know we're for real.
BG: But you would have been so much more for real up 2-0.
Torii: Sure, but B, we lost. It happens. We played a helluva game.
BG: But I wanted to win! I wanted to SWEEP them!
Torii: Damn, B, you're greedy! We just want to win the series, that's all.
BG: Oh, but Torii, it's so hard. You should have heard the announcers. I mean, all they could talk about was the Yankees. When you came back on him, it wasn't because Koskie was clutch or anything, it was just because Rivera had inherited runners and didn't have enough time to warm-up. They spent the whole ninth inning talking about it, when they weren't calling Yankee homers. It was unbearable. I wanted to crawl over there and rip out their throats.
Torii: B! I think you're having anger issues!
BG: Oh, god, and the camera kept cutting back to Jeter. Like every other minute. The camera was, like, lingering on him.
Torii: Well, you know, Jeter's one hot dude. All the Yankee fans have man-crushes on him. They can't help it.
BG: But you're way hotter.
Torii: Well, of course I'm way hotter, but that's not the point. The point is, B, what do you expect? These are the Yankees. They do commercials and date models and have superstars. We're just trying to play baseball.
BG: But the announcers…they don't even care about the Twins. They don't know anything about you guys.
Torii: B, they're morons. They can't even pronounce their own names right.
BG: (Grudgingly) Yeah…
Torii: Don't let that shit bother you. I mean, come on. It's October. It's the playoffs. You watched the game with a bunch of Batlings, right?
BG: Yeah…
Torii: Bet it was fun. Did Skorch have his sombrero?
BG: Yeah…
Torii: Damn, I love that thing. It really inspires me to rally.
BG: But, Torii, we were all so sad at the end!
Torii: Okay, yeah, it was a hard game to lose. My man Chocula pitched his heart out. And he was getting way squeezed, man, way squeezed at the end there. But, we came so close to winning this thing, and we're proud of it. We did good today. Did you see Boo Berry? That cat was fierce! Now, we got Carlos on Friday. Know what we call him?
BG: Carlos the Jackal?
Torii: That's right, B. The Jackal's gonna come in and show them how it's done. You don't worry about a thing.
BG: Well…
Torii: I don't want you to be sad, B. Or the Batlings. Sometimes you lose, but we got three more games.
BG: That's true.
Torii: And we're going to do it this time. I feel it. Tell them all we're going to do it. Tell them all to come to the Dome on Friday and Saturday and watch us win this thing. You're going to be there, aren’t you?
BG: Um, of course!
Torii: You got your press passes yet?
BG: No, they're still not here!
Torii: That's weird, man. Let me make some calls.
BG: Thanks, Torii.
Torii: Okay, B, I got a plane to catch. You feel better?
BG: I do, Torii, thanks.
Torii: No problem. Anything for you, B. And next time, have a little faith, okay?
BG: I will.
Torii: And you better tell the BatKitties it's okay to come out from under the couch.
BG: You know me pretty well, Torii.
Torii: And Jeb too. Love ya, B. See you Friday!
BG: Oh,Torii?
Torii: Yeah?
BG: Nice dinger.
Torii: Thanks, B. See you soon.