Hello.

I've come to you today to talk about something very serious.

We live in a land of plenty, a land where baseball players drive limos and have personal chefs and wear a great deal of bling. At least some of them do. There are others who are not so fortunate…

….Yes, I'm speaking of the Minnesota Twins. These poor underpaid ballplayers are plagued with poverty, hunger, and disease. Their only hope of escaping this suffering is signing with another team, but what will happen to them then? These are sensitive, emotionally-fragile men; they won't be able to survive in the brutal, uncaring wilderness of US Cellular Field. Just look at their faces…

But there is hope for these players. You can make a difference. For just pennies a day you can sponsor a Minnesota Twin.

Your money will help pay the salary of player who has simply gotten too good to stay in Minnesota. You'll get a photo of your Twin and monthly updates on their lives. You will even get a handwritten letter of gratitude from your Twin! But most importantly, you'll get the knowledge that you've helped the Minnesota Twins overcome the all-consuming stinginess of their owner.

You can make a difference in a ballplayer's life.

Just send your checks to:

Batgirl's Twins Fund
C/o Jim Pohlad
84 Kirby Puckett Place
Minneapolis, MN 55410