Okay, it's the holidays, and the BatKitties are wearing their little jingle bell collars and Jeb is wandering around the streets singing carols to random passers-by and BatMom is doing her traditional holiday baking--really, Batgirl just walks into the ancestral manse and is overwhelmed with the sweet scent of maternal love. Even Batgirl has been up late making a whole gingerbread men Twins team--the curls on Morneau's hair just take forever. What I'm saying is, there's Christmas cheer everywhere, even in Batgirl's heart, and I don't want to ruin it in any way, shape, or form. So I'm not going to say all the things I'd like to say about the latest news about baseball's Forgotten People, once known as the Expos, because nobody should use that much profanity during the holidays. Though I would like to point out there's a whole book in the Bible devoted to some guy named Job, and he just had some boils and shit--nothing like this.

I mean, come on. Come on! Exactly how much can you fuck with one baseball team? Haven't they had enough? Was this whole Washington dalliance just a plan to make them, you know, really suffer? So, now, dear Major League Baseball, we're going to continue our policy of blackmailing the fans into shelling out money for stadiums—which is great because cities are so wealthy right now, and we're not having to shut down schools and shit. Dear baseball owners, what Batgirl would really like to know is—how can you be involved in such a majestic game with such hearts of blackness and brains of dookie? How?

Basically, the Expos were going to move to Washington—the Promised Land?—on the condition that the city build a shiny new stadium after the 2005 season, blah blah, but then in the surprise move the city council got all in MLB's grill and said, "Hey! I know! Why doesn't the hypothetical rich owner-to-be-named-later use some of his GWB tax cuts and pay for A SMALL PORTION of the bleepin' stadium himself?" And MLB was all like, "First of all, the tax cuts are a growth program. Secondly, if you don't pay for all of the bleepin' stadium, we're going to take our baseball team and go home. How do you like them apples?" And the city council was all like, "Trickle down your ass!" And MLB was all like, "Your momma!" and the city council was all, "Your momma!"

Batgirl's esteemed colleague BallWonk puts the blame for this disaster squarely on the city council woman who lead the surprise vote, in what seems to be nothing but a grab for her own mayoral bid. But ESPN.com's Jim Caple says she did the right thing.

Cropp's amendment to the stadium-financing bill is a modest and sensible one, requiring that half the actual construction costs of the ballpark be privately funded. Take away the estimated site acquisition and infrastructure costs and that's about $140 million -- a lot of money, sure, but only about one-quarter of what the overall package may wind up costing. It's a reasonable amount when you consider the city is still on the hook for finding a probable $450 million more.

It also is a very reasonable amount for the team owner to pay himself. But right now, baseball doesn't want the new owner on the hook for anything more than a fraction of stadium costs. Why? It's very simple. The more a potential owner has to pay for a stadium to play in, the less he'll be willing to pay the league for the team.

In other words, major league owners want the D.C. public to not only finance a possible $600 million stadium project, they want them to subsidize league profits on the sale of the team as well.

[EDIT] Now, Batgirl isn't against public stadium financing, she believes cities should invest in themselves--it's the blackmail she just despises. And the behavior of the city council is certainly less-than-ideal, and seems more about securing publicity than protecting the city. And so says the Washington Post in a great editorial:

We hope that the council will reconsider, and when it does, give serious attention to the somewhat more complicated reality by dealing honestly with these questions: Is money raised by a tax on the city's largest firms public or private, especially considering that without the stadium in the picture, it wouldn't be raised at all? Is the money that many thousands of people from Maryland and Virginia would spend in the city on more than 80 days and nights a year public or private? One thing is certain: It won't be coming into Washington if there is no ballpark. Is the money the team would pay for rent public or private? How about the taxes on refreshments, souvenirs and so on?

To get a baseball team, Washington will have to make an investment, and few investments are without risk. To some extent it's simply a matter of how much faith the city's legislators have in the future -- not only of the District but of the entire region.]

Now, the team is canceling its promotional efforts—including a press conference to unveil the shiny new uniforms—just in time to break children's hearts for the holidays. Oh, and speaking of that, according to Darren Rovell at ESPN.com, this all brings up the (deep breath) contraction issue again. In which case Batgirl will cease all sensible speech and will only be able to converse in a steady-stream of rage filled expletives the likes of which have not been heard since BatDad shut his hand in the door of BatMom's Celica.

The possible collapse of Major League Baseball's plan to move the Montreal Expos to Washington, and then sell the franchise to the highest bidder, might have actually been the best financial move for the sport.

If the owners of the 29 teams don't sell the team at all and absorb losses for another two seasons, they would likely make more from contracting it, sports industry insiders say.

The league has the right to eliminate two teams after the 2006 season, and per the current collective bargaining agreement, the Major League Baseball Players' Association has given up its right to contest the unilateral move.

"In the long term, holding onto the team and then contracting the team and another team will be better for the 28 clubs," said Marc Ganis, president of SportsCorp Ltd., a sports consulting firm.

Merry Christmas, baseball fans everywhere. Bah, Humbug.