Twins at the Jake.
Twins 2, Toons 3.
Well, it was a nail-biter out there, tonight....with a winner nobody expected. I’m talking, of course, about "Pitching Idol." Let’s relive the magic of this season...
With the beginning of the fresh contest, there were a lot of fresh-faced hopefuls. Many names--Betancourt, Howry, Miller, Millwood, Nathan, Silva, Rhodes, Rincon, and Romero--only one Pitching Idol!
There are no second chances on Pitching Idol, and the contestants started getting voted off the show from early on. First up was a hopeful named Kevin Millwood. He faced only 17 batters before Simon Cowell cut him off.
“That was like I was in a bar in the mountains of Bulgaria and some drunk guy got up, grabbed the mic, and started pitching! ...And really, that solo homerun you gave up to Torii Hunter reminded me of Tony Bennett singing 'My Heart Will Go On.'”
Randy said, “Yo, yo, that was pretty tight, pretty tight . . . but so is your groin, dude, and that might cost you.”
So, Millwood left the contest and Pitching Idol moved on at a merciless pace.
The next Idol wannabe to drop out was Rafael Bettencourt.
After facing his fourth batter, and having walked three, Cowell said, “If I'm being honest with you, really honest, I think that was like a totally adequate pitching karaoke performance. I just don’t even know how you’re still in this competition.”
Meanwhile, one rocker/broadway song-stylist Carlos Silva was proving up to all the hype that had many people picking him as the darkhorse favorite. He had pitched under 11 pitches per inning through the first six innings. The only Cleveland run on the board was not his own.
“Yo, dawg. Listen up! You are a permanent member of the Dawgpound!”
The next to leave was Matt Miller. Giving up a walk to Shannon Stewart, he could not recover from his shaky start (though Paula Abdul was dancing throughout his entire performance.)
"I think you better pack your bags.”
But then, a shocker! As proof that there are no guarantees in life or Pitching Idol, the superb Carlos Silva had to leave the show, even though he had spread only 6 hits across 8 innings and the one run that scored on his watch was not of his making.
“You have bright future ahead of you, and I can tell that your heart is pure gold,” slurred Paula as he left. Simon Cowell was seen to wipe away a tear.
With the favorite to win it all out of the competition, things became very interesting.
The next to go was Arthur Rhodes, who’d done well in previous events, but he was booted after a lovely Torii Hunter double and Jacque Jones RBI.
Paula, perhaps to deflect rumors that she'd had an affair with Rhodes, pretended to be absorbed in her Coke as Rhodes was unceremoniously removed.
Ah, then everything seemed clear. The winner could only be Joe Nathan. He had, after all, taken home the Bullpen Idol prize last year. He would give a knockout performance. ...Only he made a costly mistake, giving up a game-tying homerun to Ben Broussard.
“Yo, dude. I'm keepin' it real here. That was pretty pitchy at first, you know what I'm saying?”
Things were coming down to the wire, now. Bob Howry gave a shaky performance, giving up hits to Juan Castro and Shannon Stewart, but somehow survived it. Instead, Juan Rincon, who gave up a walk to Victor Martinez, was eliminated.
“It seems, Juan, that your boots are made for walkin’,” offered Cowell--a bit snidely, I might add.
So, the big finale featured Bob Howry and J.C. Romero. J.C. gave a fine performance--Paula was leading the crowd with unsteady dance moves once again. But with 2 out and a count of 2-2, Travis Haffner got an odd hit just barely into left field scoring the winning run.
So, Bob Howry, the Okie farm gal with a dream, wins Pitching Idol. This proves a couple things, sometimes offering up a hit does not make you the winner, while sometimes winning means just sticking around long enough.
