You don't wanna know what RD thinks. Heck, RD doesn't wanna know what RD thinks. When he agreed to take the final two games of Batgirl's sabbatical, RD assumed he'd be leaving things in better condition than he found them. Ha! So much for setting up a triumphant return.

We're gonna keep this short.

This game was about the 5th inning. By then, Joe Mays had already pitched 4 innings of batting practice, the kind of miserable pitches that caused RD to wonder aloud and to himself, "If a man has nothing on (his pitches), is it best to leave him out there for all the world to see his nekkidness?"

But the 5th. Oh, the 5th. And it wasn't even a player who best exemplified the pain. It was the MoronFan -- stuffed with his Dollar Dogs and too dense to play Twingo -- who heaved a Tigers' FOUL BALL from the home run porch back onto the field. How dumb is THAT?

Then, there was DJ Cuddy Doom making a mental error to go with his two fielding errors. Fielding a ground ball and, with plenty of time to throw home and make a play, tossing to first base instead. 6-1, 7-1, what did it matter, huh, Mikey?

And then, for good measure, the slick-gloved Juan Castro tried to make a bare-handed play on a bouncer where he had NO chance to throw out the runner. NONE! Not even a bit! And when the ball missed his bare hand, the Tigers ended up with a double that barely reached the outfield. In other words, even the infield's glue had a Silly Putty night.

To review, the hometown pitchers made the visitors look like the 1984 Tigers instead of the 2005 Tigers. (For those too young to remember, go look 'em up!) The hometown batters allowed another suspect pitcher to play El Presidente for a night. The hometown fielding simply ... well ... uhhhhhh ... Oh, yeah. RD promised to keep this short.

There's just no reason to go deep here. Batgirl will return to find her team 10 games behind the B-Sox and barely ahead of Cleveland and the Tigers.

RD's advice is simple: Do NOT abandon ship. DO expect better.

Batgirl, we tried.