Kansas City at Twins. Twins 3, Royals 1.

The BatQuarters is closed for renovations, so BG and Jeb have been watching the games a casa Batgirl. Tonight we sat down on the BatCouch with our carbonated green tea and soy puffs, gathered the BatKitties Three, and prepared to watch our boys fight for their honor against the Kansas City Landed Gentry (name shamelessly stolen from infield). We turned on our specially-crafted TwinsTron 3000, which uses space age technology to stream all our Twins-related content—from TV to radio to the Interweb—directly to us. But just as the game was about to begin, we heard a curious rumbling in the distance—no, not a giant sucking sound coming from the Metrodome, but something else. Quickly we turned on the weather, and what we saw chilled us to the bone:

Then--with a flash and a crash!--lightening hit the BatPhalange, then there was a crackling sound from the TwinsTron, a strange, almost human-sounding moan, and then it all went dark.

The TwinsTron 3000 was dead.

A terrible silence filled the house, then Jeb hightailed it to the engineering room while Batgirl started rocking steadily.

"Fire up the backup generators!" screamed Batgirl.

"I don't have enough power!" called Jeb. "The whole house will fly apart!"

"Fly her apart, then!" screamed Batgirl.

But it was no use. Casa Batgirl was without the Twins game. Batgirl sat in a corner shaking and whimpering, while Jeb paced nervously. BatKitty #1 began gnaw slowly on BatKitty #3.

"You know what we can do?" said Jeb, finally. "We can use Legovision."

"Wh-wh-what do you mean?" asked Batgirl. "We can't do Legovision unless we've seen the game."

Jeb grabbed Batgirl's hands and looked into her eyes. "The Legos will show us the way."

And so they did.

Batgirl and Jeb field the Legos.

A couple minutes passed.
"By this time," said Jeb, arranging the middle infielders, "Castro and Rodriguez surely have recorded four outs."

The Twins' shortstop and second baseman getting four outs in one half-inning.

"My BatSense tells me that Torii's at the plate," said Batgirl some time later as the rain turned briefly to hail outside.



Hunter takes his first at bat.

Torii has a great at bat, seeing many pitches. Finally he says to pitcher Zack Grienke, "there's something I must tell you..."

"......I'm not left handed."

A hit up the middle!

Jacque comes to the plate.


"Wait," interupted Jeb, "I may not have BatSense, but a crick in my trick knee tells me Captain Cheeseburger is near!"



C.C. Sabathia appears in the Metrodome stands.


"Someone warn Little Nicky Punto!"
"We can't," Jeb replied, "our phone is dead!"
"Wait, LNP's in Rochester."
"Thank God..."
"But what's this?! The Captain's beaned Torii Hunter from the stands! Now that's dastardly!" cried Jeb.





"You bet your sweet ass, it is."

Jacque scores Torii, who had advanced to second on a C.C. Sabathia beanball from the stands.

Thunder boomed outside Casa Batgirl.

"Right about now Zack Greinke should be getting a phone call," said Batgirl.
"My thoughts exactly."



"Um, spacephone's for you, Zack."



"Jeez, ma, I asked you to not call me when I'm playing with the big guys. ...Ya, I know there's lightning, but... I know, but... ...But I'm inside a dome, ma... ....Oh, come on... ....I know... ...Okay..."
Greinke has to leave the game after the 6th.


"Hmm, I'm going to try to adjust the receiver on the TwinsTron using an algorithm derived from the Greis-integer," said Jeb, "I'll need to go work on the generator for a few minutes."


By this time, they'll be playing Dodgeball for a chance to win a totally awesome lease on a pickup, thought Batgirl...

Gardy: Hey, that Dodge is horribly dusty. Just filthy!

Mauer, Morneau...get out there and dust off that truck with your shirts! I want it spotless!

Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau work together to clean every inch of the truck, shirtless and glistening...


"I'm back," said Jeb, "what'd I miss?"
"Nothing! I was just setting up for the Twins' at bat!"

Aussie Glenn Williams comes to the plate with the bases loaded. Up 2-1, the Twins could sure use an insurance run.

"What's this?" said Jeb, "Williams has squared up to bat cricket style!"

Williams readies for the bowler's delivery.

I say, a fine straight bat loft! Justin Morneau scores! Twins lead, 3-1.

No one seems to have told Lew Ford the rules of cricket.


"Too bad, Batgirl, Lew's been caught off the popping crease for an out."
"Lew, caught off guard? Now you're just getting unrealistic, Jeb."