Twins at Kansas City. Royals 8, Twins 5.

Okay, first of all, Batgirl owes everyone in Twins Territory a huge apology. It was just last Wednesday that Batgirl wrote a post about the Royals pitching staff suffering from a massive suck lag.. Things were said. Words were used. Words like, "incompetence," and "pain," and, well, "suck." BG even made fun of Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble, and I ask you, what has he ever done to her? Nothing, that's what.

Well, ever since then, the Twins are 0-2 against that incompetent, painful, sucky, Gobble-y pitching staff, and as Benjamin Franklin famously said, she who laughs first, well, has to watch her team drop two to the Royals. And, let me tell you, nothing, I mean nothing's worth that.

So, Mea Culpa. Batgirl is sorry. Elle regrette beaucoup. Batgirl will never do it again. From now on, she will blog with nothing but the utmost respect for the boys in grape. I mean, just look at the game today! Jose Lima came in with an ERA that matched his weight—if he weighed 760 pounds that is. That must be respected. Proper respect--or "props," if you will--must be given. Attention must be paid. This is no marshmallow, no pantywaist, no Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble—oops—I mean, no turkey. This is Jose "Lima time!" Lima! Just because he's only won one game this year, because he has an ERA higher than Batgirl's in her 6th grade softball team, just because he sucks total ass does not mean we should not respect and fear him.

And wasn't there something different about Lima this time? BG couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something to his appearance, something new, something springy and girlish, as if he'd taken off a little of that stubborn winter-weight or found something to take care of that not-so-fresh feeling....





Oh, wait, I see, now that you mention it, it was pretty hard to miss actually. Huh.... Interesting choice. ...As long as he's happy.

This brings up point #2, which I'll express in form of a quiz:


Q: What Do These People Have In Common?

Cybil Shepard	Lindsay Lohan	Jose Lima

A: Any one of them has a fair shot of beating the Minnesota Twins during this current offensive slump.


Now, BG still has us in the sucking time—a sweep of the freakin' Devil Rays is hardly something to give a girl comfort, and if there's any proof of that, it's today. And since tomorrow, the Royals will be starting Lindsay Lohan, we can only watch with our hands over our eyes. BG's going to keep doing that until after the All-Star Break, and if we don't get our acts together then, well, she has a suggestion for her slumping team.

Come on, boys. It's Lima Time.

Posted by Batgirl at July 7, 2005 11:29 PM