Twins at New York. Yankees 4, Twins Goose Egg.

The first thing you have to know is a few months ago they built a Dairy Queen a few blocks from Casa Batgirl. It's right on the main drag, too—it's pretty much impossible to come or go without hearing the siren call of the blizzard machine. Jeb and BG were gripped with horror when they saw it going up.

"What are we going to do?" Batgirl asked.

"If we start going to DQ," Jeb said, shaking his head, "we'll never be able to stop."

"We must never cross the threshold," Batgirl agreed. "One step over and we'll be lost forever."

And Batgirl and Jeb have been very, very good. Sometimes one of them will say, "I think we should go to DQ," and the other will knock the first down to the ground, pin his hands back, and sit on him until the blood fever passes.

It is important that you know all this, so you understand what I'm saying when I tell you that after sitting through all nine innings of tonight's game (with perhaps a wee trip to the bathroom when J.C. Romero came on to replace Jesse Crain with the bases juiced and Matsui coming up. Really—When you gotta go, you gotta go!) Batgirl stood up and announced she was going to Dairy Queen. She would, in fact, be getting a Banana Cream Dream Pie Blizzard, because she heard they were quite delicious. She would be more than happy to get Jeb a Blizzard as well, or perhaps a Mr. Misty. Now, would he get the hell out of her way?

"No," Jeb said. "I won't."

Whereupon Batgirl explained to Jeb that she was going to get a Blizzard one way or another. It would be to Jeb's advantage to move, because otherwise she would have to go through him, and that might get a little messy.

"Batgirl, no," Jeb said. "Think about what you're doing!"

At which point Batgirl explained to Jeb that she had thought about it, she'd thought about it quite a bit, in fact, while the Twins were batting tonight (and she uses that term loosely) she had done nothing but think about how after the game she would get a Banana Cream Dream Pie Blizzard and would he GET OUT OF HER BLEEPIN' BLARGIN' WAY?

BG doesn't really want to say what happened next—let's just say during the game they showed a replay of what
Torii Hunter did to Jamie Burke a year ago tonight. Suffice to say, a mere minutes later BG had placed her order, and the die had been cast.

The Blizzard, BG will have you know, was quite delicious. Banana-y, Cream-y, Dream-y, and Pie-y all at once. She got one for Jeb, too, to eat when he regained consciousness. Jeb is not a flavor-of-the-month type guy—he picks his topping (in this case, Oreo) and sticks to it, which is one of the many reasons Batgirl loves him.

As for the game, well, BG has been carried away on the succulent wings of pie, in Blizzard form. The Rubicon has been crossed my friends—there is no turning back now.