One of the perks of being RD is the chance to go places, every now and again, that other people can only dream about.

The other night, for example, it was the finals of an online poker tournament at ultimatebet.net, in which your faithful member of the Batgirl bullpen competed for a trip to LA to play poker on TV. Alas, he fell short, taking a bad beat with his three-of-a-kind against a full house.

Friday afternoon, it was the Twins media luncheon at the Holiday Inn-Metrodome. RD shook hands with Harmon Killebrew, who looks younger every year, and soaked in the optimism and potential of the 2006 baseball season that runs amok when your team (any team) still has a mathematical chance to go 162-0.

By RD's reckoning, the main reason for optimism at the luncheon was the failure of the DVD player that was supposed to play the 2005 highlight video, which was shown during the recent Twins caravan. The blank screen reminded RD of the bases loaded/one out/Morneau at the plate/double play/inning over sequence that was the Boone, er, bane of last year's disappointment. A few other people, include some who get paid for their work by the Twins, said similar things.

There was a speech by Jerry Bell, the team president, who said there's no stadium issue this year at the Legislature because the Twins can't come up with a deal that costs the state any less than nothing -- a reference to the Hennepin County-tax that died during Session '05.

There was chat from TR, who said the changes made after Season '05 will be better for Gardy's heart -- a new third-base coach, infield coach, second baseman, third baseman, DH, right fielder and lefty reliever. TR's presentation was sober, acknowledging that the Bitch Sox had a championship season and a stellar off season, and that Cleveland had surpassed his nine on the field last season.

There was playful banter between Torii Hunter, who walked just fine, and Strib beat writer Lavelle E. Neal III. The short version: LENIII was interviewed by a TV type at a Fort Myers bar last year during the Aacdemy Awards.

Someone saw this going on and reported back to the Twins clubhouse, and to LENIII's writing peers throughout the country, all of whom were instructed to tell the scribe how good he looked when "I saw you on CNN."

LaVelle, it seems, has been soaking up the props over his TV time for almost a year now.

Today, he got busted.

"LaVelle," Torii told him, "you never were on CNN. It was a Fort Myers cable channel."

"You waited 11 months to tell me this?" LENIII asked.

LENIII good-naturedly threatened retribution, which seemed to come immediately when Torii, Rondell White and Gardy were asked the model the home PIXIE VESTS.

They stood on stage and did a Project Runway-style 180-degree turn. Torii added a little hand-on-hip, looking-over-his-shoulder action, looking a bit like Nick's model on the most recent Project Runway. (Gardy walked a bit like Nick's model, but that's another story.)

Gardy didn't give anyone a chance to praise the PIXIE VESTS.

"You will never see me in this again!" he announced.

More from Gardy, who should be asked about the PIXIE VESTS at every turn during TwinsFest this weekend:

**He liked when Torii took a swing at JustIncredible because he returned some passion to the clubhouse.

**He didn't like the passion that Lyle Lohse showed when he dented Gardy's office door.

**He thinks the three new guys -- Rondell, Castillo and TonyB -- will add clubhouse presence that was lacking last year.

**He missed Torii when he was at home recuperating from the broken ankle.

**He made it clear that grown men shouldn't wear PIXIE VESTS.

Enjoy TwinsFest!

RD, out.

Posted by Ron Davis at January 27, 2006 02:52 PM