Dear Batgirl,

How can TC bear be in Florida and simultaneously be teaching young children how to read at Marshall Field's Southdale?

Sincerely,
Donnalove

Dear Ms. Love,

This is an excellent question. I am sure there are some people who might try to convince you that TC is just a guy in a bear suit, like mall Santas without the whiskey-breath, but those people are clearly very, very stupid. The real answer is that, like Saddam Hussein, TC has employed a series of body doubles. It makes sense. A bear of his stature is going to face all sorts of threats, from kidnapping to assassination to wild bee attack. Just think of what might happen if someone (I'm looking at you, Buerhle) put TC under some kind of bear hypnosis and convinced him that Johan Santana was a big jar of honey! In other words, you can never know which TC Bear is the real one. If you study the pictures below you'll notice subtle differences in TC's appearance:

Scary, isn't it?

Sincerely,
Batgirl