Dick N' Bert, Through Time

Detroit at Twins. Weekend Round-Up.
Friday, Tigers 9, Twins 6.
Saturday, Twins 7, Tigers 6.
Sunday, Twins 4, Tigers 2.

Italy, 79 AD
Dick: Gee, Bert, we sure haven't seen a volcano in some time.
Bert: That's right Dick. In fact, I think Mount Vesuvius has gone six whole innings without erupting!
Dick: Six whole innings? That's amazing.
Bert: I know. Six whole innings!
Dick: Is it warm in here?

Europe, 1347
Dick: That's a really nice rat you have there Bert!
Bert: Yes. Mostly he likes it when I lick him.
Dick: Good thing rats aren't disease bearing!

London, 1666
Dick: This is sure the greatest city in the world!
Bert: Yes, all the buildings so close together make it so you can really get to know your neighbors.
Dick: With such narrow streets...if there were ever a fire it would sure travel quickly!
Bert: You're so funny, Dick.

San Francisco, 1906
Dick: Has it ever occurred to you that most of this city is built on sandy landfill?
Bert: Huh. Really?
Dick: Also, there's a major fault line nearby the city!
Bert: That's funny. You know, if the tectonic plate ever decided to shift, that sure would be trouble.
Dick: Yes, it's a good thing that that hasn't happened yet.
Bert: Did you hear something?

Atlantic Ocean, 1912
Dick: Goodness, I sure love ocean travel. Isn't this new luxury liner amazing?
Bert: Yeah, it was really built good. I hear it's unsinkable!
Dick: Good thing they didn't overstock it with lifeboats. That would really weigh it down.
Bert: Is it cold in here all of a sudden?

United States, 1918.
Dick: You know what? I really think we've got that Spanish flu conquered!

United States, 1952.
Bert: Also, polio!

Chernobyl, 1986
Dick: Damn, that nuclear power sure is safe!

San Francisco, 1989
Bert: Hey, there hasn't been a major earthquake here in a long time!

Today
Dick: Wow, Bert, Johan Santana has a no hitter through six innings.
Bert: A no hitter?
Dick: A no hitter! Isn't that amazing?
Bert: Wow, I really hope someone doesn’t jinx him.

Posted by Batgirl at May 7, 2006 09:10 PM
Comments