Cleveland at Twins. Twins 6, Cleveland 5.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was a young girl named Batgirl with a plot of land, a hoe, and a dream of self-sufficiency. And she said: "I will take my plot of land and my hoe and my dream and with it I shall create a blog and this will be a blog devoted to the principle that baseball is fun and the Twins are beloved and the word "ass" is inherently hilarious and can be used as any part of speech, except for perhaps articles and conjunctions and maybe even pronouns and certainly prepositions. And through this blog I shall lead my baseball team to glory."

But there was a problem. You may not recall, it may seem strange to your modern ears, but in April of 2004 our bullpen assed it up all over the place. And so Batgirl took her land and her hoe and her dream and started a competition called Bullpen Idol, and that competition would motivate this band of Fultzs and Mulhollands and Rincons and Romeros and Roas and Ball Fours and this new guy we got from the Giants who's supposed to be our closer, whatshisname, to new heights of glory, or at least less heights of assitude.

Times have changed and since Mr. Joe Nathan was crowned the winner of Bullpen Idol three years ago our pen has been our shining star. But this year the cracks started to show more clearly than Paula Abdul's Happy Happy Fun Drink habit and suddenly games have gone quickly asswards when we get to the pen and it isn't right, it isn't fair, because we have Juan Rincon, we have Joe Nathan, and isn't that enough? Isn't it?

Tonight, it was. Tonight, it worked just like it was supposed to, just like the halcyon days of the aftermath of Bullpen Idol. The President faltered—he does that sometimes to pretend he's human but we know the truth. Casey "We Get It, We Get It, We Let You Go And We’re Sorry" Blake and Pronkzilla and Perez took the lead away from us and our 4 run lead became a one run deficit. Ass! I cried. Whoever will save our president now?

Never fear. We have Juan Rincon, we have Joe Nathan, and that, my friends, is enough. It's the Vice President's job to take the place of the President if he should be unable to fulfill his duties, and boy howdy did he. Down went the Indians—one, two, three! Four, five, six! It was sizzling, it was Santana-esque, it was Nathan-esque, it was what earned him the Bullpen Idol crown in the first place and launched his storied political career! After Sunday's ass-arm performance, we needed someone to step up and show the kids how it was done.

And that's why you, Joe Nathan, are the Bullpen Idol. Now and 4-ever.