Did anyone in Minnesota think for a second we were going to lose this? It was so cute, all the hype for Clemens when every Twins fan knew he was going to get shown how it was really done. And BG was planning to give this to the Kid, facing the minimum through--what was it--seven? I don't know, it was something. It was like he'd let people on base just to toy with them, like a BatKitty and a toy mouse, except a toy mouse can't hit into a double play.

But Enron Field bilked the Kid out of his shut out like so many California energy customers. It's a stupid, stupid park and there should probably be prosecutions. There aren't any reasonable dimensions, except maybe right center where Sid Hartman's Man Crush (Come here, kid, sit on Uncle Sid's lap.) hit a ball with about half of his strength around 385 feet, for what would become the winning run and giving the Doctor his fourth consecutive Boyfriend of the Day.

Goober/Doctor: 12; Readers/The Field: 9; Batbaby/Torii: 6; Batgirl/Chairman 4; Jeb/ Lewwww3; Sooz/Stewie 2