Oh, man. This was not a game you wanted to lose. The Twins left roughly 847 players on base, and each time you thought--next time. Next time we'll take the lead. And then someone (I'm looking at you Jason Tyner) hit the first pitch into a double play and you'd think--next time. Please? Anyone? And then Jesse Crain gave up another run in the eighth and it appeared there was not going to be a next time. And then Joe Mauer--who had blown a chance with bases loaded earlier-- sauntered up in the ninth and BOOM! Great, wow, it would have been really nice if Crain hadn't given up that run, now we're still down a run and it's the ninth inning and, oh, hello, Michael Cuddyer, how--

That sound you heard was everyone is Kauffman's stadium's neck snapping as they watched Cuddy's homer go out. That tied the game, set up the Twins win, and gave, you, Michael Cuddyer, the Boyfriend of the Day.

Goober/Doctor 20; Readers/The Field 17; Batbaby/Torii 9; Batgirl/Chairman 7; Sooz/(Cuddy) 7; Jeb/ (Silva) 3.