Twins at Cleveland. Twins 9, Indians 4.

Those of you who were here last year may remember Batgirl went through a certain Tony Gwynn phase. It all began with a late extra inning game in Seattle and some bad Big League Chew. Batgirl started seeing things, then, strange things, like Kent Hrbek on a magic potato, which is similar to, and yet nothing at all like a magic fucking unicorn, because unicorns can't fly and magic potatoes totally can, and to make a long story short it was getting later and later and finally Batgirl uttered a quick prayer to Tony Gwynn and believe it or not the Twins won.

Tony Gwynn appeared in our lives briefly last year, a burst of sunshine in the interminable gray fog of the season. We did our best to honor him, Batling Twins Foghorn even wrote Tony Gwynn's Prayer. And every once in a while he would show up to bless us.

And then, mysteriously, he disappeared…

The Twins were out of it just as quickly as they had gotten back in it, and Batgirl can never know what she did to displease him. Batgirl has thought of Tony often over the last year, and when the Twins made their dramatic turnaround in June ("dramatic" like Hamlet is "mixed-up") she could not help but wonder if he was smiling on us again. And then, upon her return from her voyages, Batgirl got this in the mail, courtesy of Batling Twink:

A giveaway! From the Portland Beavers! A graven image! Here to bless and inspire us!

And then, this morning, something very strange happened:

Now, when the figure arrived on Batgirl's doorstep, it was perfectly intact. It was not until this morning, when Batgirl merely picked him up, ever-so-gently, to move him, that the arm fell off. Clearly, it was a sign. Tony knows about the Twins' troubles, and is with us.

Look. That dude has no arm! But what do you see in his eyes? Do you see concern? Do you see pain? Do you see any quit? No, you do not. You see grit, my friends. And if his arm falls off…

Well, he'll just bat from the mother flipping ground.

You see, we're on a mission now, boys and girls. People have counted us out so many times that we've lost count, and somehow we stay in it. This injury to Liriano's supposed to end our hopes—even though we gained 8 games without him. We're going to keep fighting this damned fight, no matter how many limbs fall off, and no matter what happens at the end of the season, no matter if we make it or we don't, every single one of us will have learned something from this season, the year the Minnesota Twins sucked beyond all recognition, the year they lost their outfield and their top two and three starters, the year they featured Johan Santana and the Triple A All-stars, the year Little Nicky Punto started at third, the year they climbed and crawled back, the year they fought this thing all the way to the damned end.

Now, does anyone have some fish glue?

A huge BatCongratulations to Mr. Michael Brent Cuddyer for getting his 100th RBI tonight. Who the heck saw that coming?

BatCharity Alert: On Sunday, 6 inch subs at Subway are 2 for 1, with proceeds going to the Harmon Killebrew Miracle Fields. Eat up!