FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The baseball world waits with bated breath for the results of the Daisuke Matsuzaka sweepstakes. On Wednesday, several baseball teams submitted bids for the right to negotiate with the Japanese star.Under the Japan League system, a player who has not yet earned free agency can only go to the majors if his team makes him available. Major League teams can then bid on the rights to negotiate with the player.
The highest payday previously has been Ichiro Suzuki, who cost the Seattle Mariners $13 million in bidding rights alone. The payout for Matsuzaka is expected to be much higher, perhaps in the jillions.
The price tag is going to be tough for any team, but it did not deter the Yankees, who sent Derek Jeter to deliver the bid in tight pants. The Mets countered by oiling up David Wright and sending him in wearing nothing but a little red bow.
Other teams have tried to find more creative solutions for raising the requisite cash. "It's going to be hard for us to come up with a competitive bid, but we're starting by putting Derrik Lee up on eBay."
Another GM was said to include several of his children in the bid to work as vassals. "I'll miss them a lot," said the GM, who wished to remain anonymous, "but you can't overvalue pitching these days.
As for the Twins, they would not let the opportunity to shore up their fragile pitching rotation pass them by. "I put in $50," said Terry Ryan. "It would hurt us, of course, but with a player of that caliber you have to take a hit."
Meanwhile, Matzuka's team, the Seibu Lions, are anxiously awaiting news of the winning bid. With the money, the Lions plan to buy themselves a solid gold stadium, and also a pony.
"Actually," admitted one Japan League official, "we made the whole negotiating fee thing up. We just wanted to see how much we could get some jerk to pay."