FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Orlando, FL--With a small free agent market, everyone knew there were going to be some surprising contracts this year. Already, even the most mediocre players are being rewarded with huge paydays. But perhaps no deal is more surprising than the Chicago Cubs' signing of Orlando sixth grader Ephram Bumblebrox.
Bumblebrox, 12, was playing catch with his younger brother in the park when Cubs GM Jim Hendry was being driven by on his way to the nearest Olive Garden. Hendry was impressed with what he saw.
"Everyone knows we're looking for some outfielders," said Hendry, "and I said to myself, 'That kid can throw!'"
Hendry has his driver stop the car and immediately offered the child a four year, 20 million dollar contract.
"I know given some of the numbers being thrown around this off-season that that's pretty small, but we want to be conservative given Ephram hasn't hit puberty yet."
As for Bumblebrox, he is very excited to be playing for the Cubs. "I think they have a lot of potential," he said. "I just think they need to get the right group of players in. Hopefully, I can help the team."
He then immediately ran out and bought himself a Playstation 3, a video iPod, and an ass-load of candy.