(D-Backs 4, Twins 3)

Many years ago, in a time mostly forgotten two teams from differing leagues faced off to battle for desert supremacy in a game of complicated rules involving much throwing, swinging, and running. Their names have likewise been lost to time, but we now know them as House Ryan's Twins of Caladanesota which is a land beset with water, potluck dinners, and Lutherans; and House Garagiola Jr's Diamondbacks of Arrakiszona which is a dry, arid wasteland filled with sand and ancient Caladanesotans.

In the beginning they were friendly matches, but as they played each other more and more over the years it became less so, until it eventually erupted into a bitter feud. This feud consumed both houses, and as soon as their matches were over, preparations would immediately begin for the next year's.

Back in Caladanesota Duke Ryan was ruling the empire with a wise and benevolent hand. He sent his advisors and scouts to infiltrate the native people of Arrakiszona and return with news on how to finally defeat the hated Diamondbacks for good. Upon hearing their advise he called Warmaster Gardenhire in to go over strategy.

"To rule Arrakiszona, you must use desert power." He solemnly told Gardenhire. Gardenhire nodded, fully understanding what needed to be done. To prepare for his next series against the Diamondbacks he had to learn the ways of the desert people and learn to use their techniques. He quickly met up with the resistance fighters of Arrakiszona who were slow to trust but eventually warmed up to him.

"Tell us again of the waters in your homeland." they'd repeatedly ask. He'd reply "The waters are so plentiful they fall from the sky and we install gutter helmets on our houses to protect the siding and keep the gutters clean. Plants grow so thick you need a Kubota lawn tractor to tame them. Liquid calcium supplements are distributed in handy Grip-n-Go containers". These tales held them enthralled, as they had heard the legends of a man who'd come from far away to lead them to freedom. They gladly taught Gardenhire everything he would need to know about desert power.

Gardenhire returned to Caladanesota and spread the word to his warriors, finally convinced they'd be able to go back to Arrakiszona and unseat House Garagiola Jr and Baron Melvin. "Desert power", he'd remind the hurler in the first match. "Desert power" was the reply he'd get in return. Although it took awhile for the lesson to work in practice, it eventually all clicked as they took the first game in the series. On the second night he reminded the starting hurler of desert power, to which the reply was only "Phht! No problem Skip, these yahoos will flail wildly at my offerings. That Beast Clayton in particular is going to feel mighty bad." And so victory came, and so Beast Clayton did.

By the third night, Caladanesota was on the verge of finally overtaking House Garagiola Jr for good, and the Arrakiszona Diamondbacks decided to employ some desert power of their own. So enraged by the embarrassments suffered at the hands of the Twins over the previous two matches, Feyd-Rautha Vasquez loudly declared "Kanly!" and called out the Twins to a final duel for control of the desert and proceeded to throw a harmless first half-inning. One of the desert people the Twins had enlisted, Sietch-leader Lohse, answered the call. Stepping to the mound, he fixed a steely gaze upon the lead batsman and said simply:

"May thy bat chip and shatter."

Well, that didn't work out so hot, did it? Not one bit. Lead-off contortionist Counsell hit a triple to open the half-inning and things started to look eerily familiar. Counsell came in to score and the Diamondbacks took a lead. Feyd-Rautha Vasquez was mortally wounded in the 6th, and it was up to the shaky Diamondbacks bullpen to try and hold on for victory.

Finally, in the top of the 9th, the Twins came to life, as Diamondbacks hurler Bruney handed out 2 free passes despite getting the early advantage. Down by a run with 2 outs and 2 runners on base the warrior LeCroy stepped to the plate and said to himself "Yum. Dessert power."

Bruney struck out the daydreaming LeCroy to nail down the victory.