Here at Batgirl, we try hard to address the important issues. Other blogs might wonder, “Where should Lew Ford hit in the batting order?” or “Who should be sent down when Nick Punto gets off the DL?” But there’s only one question on our minds: Who’s Hot? (And we don't mean on the field!)
So, Team Batgirl has decided to launch an exciting new feature-- MINNESOTA TWINS: HOT OR NOT?
Every so often, we’ll compare a few players and discuss, well, HOT OR NOT? We’ll have our own conclusions, but you may wish to dispute them. After examining all your incisive and impassioned comments, we’ll pick a winner (or winners) to move on to the final round, where we’ll truly discover:
Let's Play!
Player #1 Doug Mientkiewicz
Oh, Dougie, we can’t help but love you. You’re one of the most dedicated Twins since Hrbie, at half the poundage. And you’ve got the makings of a real hottie, from your sly smile to your soft brown eyes to your prankster humor to your hot, hot, hot glove work—but, Doug, let’s face it. You’re sticky. You drench yourself in pine tar and have wads of bubble gum tucked away everywhere, and we can’t help but feel if we accidentally touched you, we might be stuck to you forever. And frankly, we’re not sure we’d like what we’d see.
BatVerdict: Toss-up.
Player #2 Matthew LeCroy
Lovable and large, Big Country is never so hot as when he’s doing a slow trot around the bases. (The sprints are another matter, though.) Matty’s honey voiced and a good dancer and is the kind of guy who would always hold the door for you…but did anyone else notice that Leon is getting larger?
BatVerdict: You can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy. We’d consider it, but we’d just be whistling Dixie.
Player #3 Johan Santana
Well, hello. A drink? Yeah, sure, I’d love a drink. Whatever you’re having. Oh, Gatorade? My favorite. Thanks so much. That’s really refreshing, for my deep down body thirst. Thanks. You know... wow, I don’t usually… I mean, you know, I’m not here to meet people. But you, well… I guess it’s those eyes. Or maybe that fastball. Or maybe it’s just the Gatorade talking…but yes, I’ll have another.
BatVerdict: Call me crazy…as long as you call me!
Player #4 Lew Ford
“Adorkable,” one of Batgirl’s talented and perspicacious readers calls him, and we have to agree. Just look at him! Any guy who irons his shirts while wearing them is adorkable in our book. And were this competition called “Am I cute or not?” we would answer a decided, “And how!” But Lew, honey, there’s something about you that makes us just want to cuddle. You know how it is. At the beginning of the party, everyone cries on your shoulder about how they want a nice guy just like you, and at the end they’ve all left with Torii Hunter.
BatVerdict: Not. But we'd still love that cuddle.
So, BatLings? What do you think?
Posted by Batgirl at June 14, 2004 05:53 PM