Kansas City at Twins. Twins 9, Royals 0.

Overhead before the game, a conversation between Twins catcher Joe Mauer and Royals starter Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble.

Jimmy: Hey
Joe: Hey
Jimmy: So, you're like, what, twenty-one?
Joe: Yeah.
Jimmy: Oh….I'm twenty-two.
Joe: Wow…What's that like?
Jimmy: It's pretty cool. I've gotten a lot of perspective this last year.
Joe: Yeah…I'll bet!
(Pause.)
Jimmy: So, you know they gave away G.I. Joe guys today?
Joe: Yeah.
Jimmy: Wanna come over and play with them later?
Joe: Yeah!

If you saw a young blond man poking around the stands during the 5th inning, that was Jimmy Gobble, exiled from the game early enough to scour the aisles for discarded action figures for that post-game play date with Mauer. He found quite a few, too.

Gobble was lucky not to be sent to bed without his supper. The Twins teed off against him in the second inning—making Batgirl wonder if the reason the Twins had such a productive April at the plate was that we faced the Royals so many times.

Last season, the Royals existed to light a fire under the slumping Twins and to remind them of their plucky origins. This season, their raison d'etre is to take the place of the Detroit Tigers as division whipping boy, which is awfully kind of them. Facing the Royals is a guilty pleasure, rather like watching Fox's summer programming. You know you shouldn't be enjoying it so much, but you just can't help yourself.

The Twins certainly enjoyed themselves today. With Torii Hunter on in the second, Jacque Jones took a two-strike pitch deep for his 14th homer of the season. Then Dougie "Wheels" Mientkiewicz hit a single and stole a base, then Punto singled, then Guzie, then Lew, and, well…you get the idea.

Meanwhile, the Beltran-less Royals gave the infield nice fielding practice for nine innings. It was sweet of them; Nick Punto could still have been a little shaky coming off the DL, and having all those ground balls hit to him must have really helped his rehab. Or at least his confidence—Punto took Brian Anderson deep to Batgirl regular Skorch's usual seats in left field for his second career homer. And his little legs made it all the way around the bases pretty well.

All in all, a good time was had by all—if you're a Twins fan, that is. If you're a Royals fan, Batgirl can only extend her deepest sympathies. If you're a Bitch Sox fan, Batgirl asks how you are enjoying the view back in second place tonight. But she shouldn't sass too much—soon you'll get to play the Royals, too.