Twins at Royals. Royals 4, Twins 3.

Dear Jose Offerman,
Well, a funny thing happened. See, when you came up in the ninth inning to pinch hit I might have made some comments about you and your hitting ability. Well, really about the latter; I'm sure you are a very nice person, and I certainly never would say anything to imply otherwise. It's just that you aren't always the best hitter. Or that's what I said when you came up to bat. Or something very much like that, but not perhaps as gently put. I might have even been wondering how long you were going to be on the team. In fact, I still wonder that.

But that's not the point of my letter. The point of my letter is that I said some things about you and the whole pinch hitting thing, and I wanted to say that I'm sorry. Because you hit a really really nice triple with Guzie on first to make the game 3-2, which is pretty much all a Batgirl could ask for. So again, I'm sorry about that. Please forgive?

Love,
Batgirl

Dear Carlos Silva,

Hey, how's it going? Good game tonight! But I must admit, you confuse Batgirl. Are you a good pitcher or not? Please decide, so Batgirl can plan accordingly.

Thanks so much,
Batgirl

Dear Lew Ford,

Keep it up and we're going to have to revise your Minnesota Twins: Hot or Not rating. Homers make Batgirl's knees weak.

Lustily yours,
Batgirl

Dear Nick Punto,

You are cute. Batgirl could just eat you up. (Oops, maybe you're a little sensitive about that.) Anyway, I'm sorry that nasty Tony Graffanino slid so hard into you in the tenth. There should be a law! It's not nice to pick on people who are littler than you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Warmly,
Batgirl

Dear Shannon Stewart,

You are so awesome. You're the only actual professional baseball player we have. Please don't ever, ever, ever get hurt again.

Pleadingly,
Batgirl

Dear Grant Balfour,

Hey! I wonder if maybe the strike zone is a little bigger in Australia than it is here? Maybe you should look into that?

Helpfully,
Batgirl

Dear Minnesota Twins,

Hi, how are you? It's Batgirl. I haven't written in a while. Listen, you know what? You guys are the defending division champions. No, really. And you know what? The team isn't really that different this year. Sure, Eddie and LaTroy are gone, but with Rincon and Nathan we hardly miss their pitching. And how about that Lew Ford, huh? Isn't he sweet? If you can't get it together for Batgirl (and really, can't you?), do it for Lew! Imagine how cute he'd look soaked in champagne!

Now, you're going to face the Tigers, and I know how scary that must be. But you know what? You're a better team than they are. I mean it! Even with Pudge. So, let’s go get 'em, tiger! I mean Twins! Rah, rah! Go team!

Encouragingly,
Batgirl