Twins at Detroit. Twins 3, Tigers 1.

In honor of tonight's Hi-Def Twins broadcast, Batgirl will also be blogging in high-definition. That's right, using Team Batgirl's exclusive technology, in today's post Batgirl will be clearer than ever before. No more rambling sentences, no more digressions, no more 19th-century novel references, no more feeding Nick Punto to the opponents, no more making fun of the players' physical deformities or extreme youth/elderliness—just pure unadulterated Twins coverage. Less sass, sharper image—now with digital sound! (If you listen carefully, you can even hear Batgirl mutter to herself as she types.)

Like the Twins game tonight. I mean, we knew Justin Morneau's hair was curly, but who knew it was that curly? Didn't you want to just get close to him and yank on one of those babies just to see it go BOING?

Or Terry Mulholland, who knew he had such a nice straight gleaming part? And have Torii Hunter's big chocolate eyes ever looked so big and chocolatey? And when Matt LeCroy strikes out, as he did three times tonight, did you know you could actually see the whiff lines form in the air?

Oh, I guess that was a little sassy. Which was totally uncalled for—I mean the Twins actually managed to outscore their opponents tonight, which, gentle reader, is really an important part of winning baseball games. See, when the opposing team has the bases loaded with nobody out, as the Tigers had in the fifth, you're supposed to escape the situation with as few runs as possible. And when you have the bases loaded with two outs, as the Twins did in the seventh, you're supposed to score.

These are the sort of key elements to a winning club that the Twins have forgotten in the last few, um, weeks. But that was before—the old Twins, in standard definition. Now, in Hi-Def, the Twins are a winning machine.

Because, while Batgirl might not look any different in Hi Def, the Twins sure did. Just look at Terry Mulholland. In his last start against the Tigers—well, okay, he was pretty good. But he didn't win. Tonight he looked like a man half his incredibly advanced age—pitching a four-hit game against the best offensive team in baseball.

Mulholland: pitching in standard.... and then high definition

Not to mention the prowess of curly-haired Justin Guarini Morneau. Suddenly, he's the Hi-Def clean-up hitter we've been hearing about for years; he and Lew Ford are the most adorably productive 3 and 4 hitters in baseball since, well, probably since the Rochester season opener.

Yes, the heroes of today's game were two guys who started the season in Triple AAA and two guys about ready for the AARP—but that's just the sort of thing you can expect when a team uses performance-enhancing broadcast technologies. And if we all close our eyes and wish real hard, maybe it will start helping the rest of our line-up, too—the ones making all the G's.

Anyway, all sass aside, Mr. Mulholland has now won against every team in baseball, and, well, that's just cool. Batgirl's glad the guys came through for him tonight.