Boston at Twins. Twins 5, Red Sox 4.

It's been an emotional day for Batgirl and her readers, and perhaps that's why Batgirl took the fact that tonight's game wasn't broadcast a wee personally. There may have been some things said to Fox Sports Net, some things that can't be taken back. There might even have been some stomping around and some things thrown. Batgirl is up at the lakeside BatQuarters this weekend, and people here don't truck with the sort of language Batgirl used.

No matter. Batgirl is unrepentant. If you're going to trade one of the Twins' franchise players to the Boston Red Sox, if the Twins happen to be playing the Red Sox at the time, if that franchise player is going to be starting at first base, and if you're not going to show the game on television, Batgirl is going to swear. A lot.

It is left, then, to Batgirl's imagination what Dougie's reaction was when he came to bat for the Red Sox in the 2nd and the Metrodome filled with cheers. I can say that Batgirl, for one, cried, and she can't help but think there were more than a few moist eyes in the Dome at the time, including in the Twins clubhouse.

Batgirl would also have liked to see how Dougie Baseball looked in one of the game's classic uniforms. I bet pretty darned good, even if the BoSox clubhouse guy had to work the phone desperately to locate a small team of seamstresses to help him get "Mientkiewicz" sewn onto the uniform before game time.

Then there'd be the interaction between Dougie and all the Twins players who reached first. Of course, the first Twin to get to first was Justin "The Other Woman" Morneau (and how weird is that? How many mere singles has Justin gotten in his tenure with the Twins? I thought doubles were his minimum.) and as he stood there, Batgirl can only imagine everyone in the Twins dugout turned to each other and said, "Awk-ward!"

But then there was Torii, then Corey, and later Little Lew. Batgirl imagines Corey got to first, looked Dougie up and down, and laughed, "Nice socks." That's Canadian for, "I'm going to miss you, you big sticky lug."

Well, there was a game to be played and Team Batgirl agreed that they wanted a) Dougie to have a good game b) the Twins to win anyway and c) the Bitch Sox to lose. (Duh.) We so rarely get what we want in life (I want Kyle Lohse not to suck, for instance, and I did ask Randy Johnson to come to the Twins) but tonight, well, we learned that sometimes dreams really do come true.

After a homer in the first by Mark Bellhorn, the Twins tied it up in the second with a series of singles by Morneau, Hunter, and Koskie. That's where the score stayed until the 5th, when Corey Koskie walked ("Hey, Dougie, you look hot in red, eh!"), Henry Blanco followed with a double, then Stewie with another. 3-1 Twins.

Radke wasn't quite as dominant today as he has been, but I'll take a slightly-less dominant Radke over just about anybody. Still, the BoSox started to come back on him later in the game, adding a run in the sixth and two more in a seventh inning that began with Doug Mientkiewicz's first hit as a Boston Red Sock. 4-3 Sox.

But usually when the another team comes back against the Twins and ties the game late, Michael "Hey, They Didn't Trade Me!" Cuddyer responds in the next inning by hitting a solo homer. And so it went tonight—Cuddy smashed a 1-2 pitch to left, tying the game. So it stood for an inning, until Jacque "Me Either!" Jones decided he wanted sommadat, too. Boom. 5-4, Twins—Enter Joe Automatic.

Well, Doug was the first batter to face Mr. Automatic in the ninth, and he proceeded to rip a 1-2 pitch to center for a single. How rude! (We hope that whatever he knows about Joe, he's not telling.) No matter, Count Chocula still did the job, with his signature Sit-Down-Bitch to end the game, making Kevin Youkilis whiff on a 98 MPH fastball—this coming a little after the news that the Bitch Sox lost their seventh in a row, and the Twins are five up. Hee!

Tomorrow, it's Santana v. Pedro, and the game will be televised for all our edification. And we'll get to see Dougie at the Dome one more time this season. Oh, Mr. Sticky Big Junk Dougie Defence Dougie Baseball Bubblehead, Batgirl's going to miss you. You were a great Twin, and you helped create and define the team that Batgirl fell in love with. Watching you play the game is a great pleasure, and Batgirl wishes you only the best.

Yes Batgirl's sorry to see him go, but she believes that after the events of the past week, there was no other option. And she's glad it was Boston, a good team and a good baseball town—may they value him very much. I hope while he's there he gets some of whatever David Ortiz has been eating for breakfast. One thing is for sure; if the BoSox do get back in the World Series with Dougie on the team, they won't ever have to watch a ball dribble underneath their first baseman's legs in the ninth inning again.