Oakland at Twins. A's 6, Twins 5. (18 innings)

Two years ago, the Twins met the Oakland A's in the ALDS. Most everyone thought the Athletics would make short work of the Twins…especially the A's themselves. And while Game 5 of that series was the most trying experience of Batgirl's life (Jeb hasn't been the same since), the Twins did prevail.

The A's were less than thrilled with their playoff exit, and when the two teams met again in the 2003 regular season, various A's players (and Oakland sportswriters) went around saying that this was their chance to redeem themselves against the inferior Twins—apparently subscribing to some Bitch Sock-esque philosophy that they practically won the ALDS, if just for the itty bitty fact that they didn't.

The Twins, however, looked at the 2003 rematch as just another series, and as a result they handed the Athletics their pants all year. But it’s a new season, the ghost of 2002 has retired, and is now spending his days playing MLB 2004 on some heavenly Playstation with the ghost of the Indians '97 World Series loss and Thomas Edison.

So in 2004, what we have between the teams is great baseball. They've played each other six times this season and four of those games have gone into extra innings (and left Batgirl frail and withered). There's no doubt that Oakland is just a terrific team, what with their Four Horseman of the Apocalypse starting ro', Eric Chavez vacuuming up everything at third, and Eric Byrnes looking so pretty with those lush blond curls—but we’ve got at least two apocalyptic starters (apocalyptically awesome), Lew Ford playing right field like he was born there, and Justin Morneau looking so pretty with those lush blond curls.

When last the Twins faced the A's, our bullpen was shaky and Carlos Silva was our only good starter. Lately, though, Silva has stayed in the #3 slot in the rotation by being merely inconsistent rather than just plain bad. But in the last couple of starts, he's been showing signs of his Carlos the Jackal form. Today, he looked for six innings as if he might pitch another complete game shutout, seemingly getting stronger as the game went on. I'm sure the Twins players much appreciated the effort, given that they were facing Mark Mulder, a pale horse with a rider named Death.

Ah, but Death—be not proud, for some have called thee mighty and dreadful, but thou art facing the Minnesota Twins. Did somebody say "offensive juggernaut?" No? Nobody did? Okay, that's fair. But still, the Twins struck first again today; with two outs in the third Guzie walked, then Lew Ford singled, then Dr. Morneau hit a lovely line drive to center, scoring Guzie. In the fifth we added another run after Shannon Stewart hit a sac fly to score Luis Rivas, who was on third after a very pretty triple.

And so, it was 2-0 going into the seventh inning, when the A's decided to put the Jackal on trial. By the time the prosecution had rested, Oakland was up 3-2.

But as our greatest power threat strode into the box in the eighth, well…the game had already been tied by a Cristian Guzman homer. So Morneau couldn't add anything, and neither could anybody else for ten more #@$!&?* innings.

The Twins bullpen deserves to have the offense throw them a giant pizza party for their performance tonight. J.C. Romero, who's been inconsistent of late, pitched two scoreless innings in the eighth and ninth, followed by a shaky by scoreless tenth for Aaron Fultz, who was then relieved in the 11th by a terrific Jesse Crain. In the 12th, Joe Nathan strode in and struck out the side. You would think (as indeed Batgirl did) that that would have inflamed our offensive juggernaut, yet apparently, it did not. We went into the 13th, when Joe Roa came in and pitched his little heart out. The Roa Constrictor pitched five innings, allowing just one baserunner, and was altogether worthy of Boyfriend of the Day honors—which he would have gotten had Terry Mulholland not come on in the 18th and given up 3 #@$!&?! runs.

So, let's see, by my count, that's a thick crust olive and green pepper pizza for J.C., a thin crust extra cheese pizza for Crain, a large pizza for Nathan with all the premium toppings he wants, a few of the leftover pieces for Fultz, and the entire blasted menu, including cheesy bread, for Roa. (Mulholland can get his own damn pizza.)

So, lots of pizza for you, Joe, but no B.O.D. But you do get a big hug from Batgirl. Or you would, if she weren't so emotionally spent that she can barely move. But it's the thought that counts.

As for the A's, we'll see them again (sigh) at 12:15 tomorrow.