It's been a huge couple of weeks here at Team Batgirl, what with the Dougie trade, and that whole media-suppressed bench clearing brawl, and surviving the Oakland series. It's hard being on the cutting edge of Twins pseudo-journalism. So we thought we'd take a few moments to kick back, grab an appletini, and return to what's really important: Who's Hot?

Yes, it's time for another round of:

In the first round, we advanced Johan Santana and Doug Mientkiewicz to the finals, though Doug will now be moved to the finals of THE BOSTON RED SOX: HOT OR NOT? In the second, Torii Hunter was moved on with a unanimous "Meow!" (A few BatLings claimed to want to advance Grant Balfour, but Batgirl thinks they were yanking her chain.) Now, for the third round—Batgirl will give her opinion and then weigh the reader response to decide who moves into the final round of:

Player #1 Juan Rincon

Oh, dear Boo Berry. You've become the official huggy bear of Batgirl's blog, and there's a vocal BatFaction that spends most days at meetings of the Boo Berry Appreciation Society. You were first runner-up in BULLPEN IDOL—and one of the BBAS members loved you enough to stuff the BI ballot box to give you a win. And of course, we all appreciate your orthodontic efforts—baby, you're worth it!--though Batgirl hasn't had a boyfriend in braces since Alex Ginsburg in 7th grade. Plus why do you look vaguely terrified all the time? We think if we walked up to you in a bar you'd scream and run in the other direction. Chicks dig confidence—and you've got the stuff to back it up.

BatVerdict: Lots of mettle…but too much metal.

Player #2 Jacque Jones

Hey, Jacque? Hey, it's Batgirl! Oh, I'm good, how are you? Awesome? I thought so. Whatcha doing right now? Just sittin' there smiling, huh? Wanna come over? I don't know, I thought we could just hang out and look at the BatKitties and watch Sex and the City DVDs and talk about how awesome everything is and maybe make fun of Lew Ford? Sounds awesome? Okay, awesome! You bring the Cheetos!

BatVerdict: He can totally be the maid of honor when Batgirl becomes Mrs. Torii Hunter.

Player #3 Justin Morneau

God, those curls are so pretty. How do you do it? Mine just get so limp and frizzy. I mean, I've tried every different kind of conditioner in the world, and oh, the money I've spent on product! I could start a home for kids with disadvantaged hair with all that money! So, what's your secret? It's natural????? Get out! Damn, honey, you don't know how lucky you are! And you're so adorable! Batgirl just wants to dress you up in a sailor suit, pinch your cheeks—and then send you out to knock a few Bitch Sox pitches to Indiana.

BatVerdict: But would it hurt to make a facial expression once in a while? It would? Really? Okay, well, you know, we don't want you to get hurt.

Player #4 Kyle Lohse

Hey, Kyle. Remember last year? Remember when you were like, 14-11? Remember how, about midseason, Batgirl pronounced you her pitching boyfriend? Remember how we held hands and frolicked through the woods? Yeah, that was fun, but Batgirl dumped you but huge earlier this year when you gave up four runs in an inning and bitched in the papers the next day about how you didn't get any run support. You're probably the finest Twin to get the thumbs down this year, but let's face it, it's hard to mack on the ladies when you're 5-8.

BatVerdict: Lose the 'tude, dude.

Player #5 Joe Nathan

You might saunter into a bar one night, order yourself a Roy Rogers, and make eyes at some pretty young lady a few seats over. She'll look you up and down (mostly up) and sort of smile, mutter something about Midwestern farm boys, and look away. Then you'll proceed to get up and strike out every single man in the room, including the bartender and Derek Jeter. The young lady will then stand up, remove all of her clothing, and pull you on top of the bar, where you will pass a long night of lovemaking during which you whisper tales of your various saves.

BatVerdict: One, two, three strikes—you're hot!