Dearest Cordel Koskos,

You are so hot right now. I can't even stand it. You hit balls almost as far as Justin Morneau does. Really. It's pretty close. How do they measure things in Canada, anyway? Moose Antlers? You're just, like, 30 moose antlers behind Justin, which is pretty amazing, since they clearly fixed all the manufacturers defects when they made him. He doesn't have as many parts falling off of his body as you do, but really, that makes your achievement all the more spectacular. Overcoming adversity, and all that. Anyway, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you picking this particular time to go all chair-bashing mad. I mean, we've won four of our last five, and when Shannon Stewart isn't hitting doubles willy nilly, you're launching the ball toward the giant Kent Hrbek…thingy. Banner. Whatever. That's not the point, the point is you launched an 0-1 pitch to the upper deck today to give Kyle Lohse a two-run lead, and anything that makes Kyle Lohse feel better makes Batgirl feel better. So you, Cordel Koskos are the Boyfriend of the Day.

Love,
Batgirl