Now that the season is upon us, Batgirl would like to take some time to review the concept of "boyfriends" and, of course, the storied "B.O.D." competition. So we present:

BOYFRIENDS: A FAQ

What is a boyfriend? A "boyfriend" is that special Twins player that makes your heart go pitter pat. It has nothing to do with physical attraction; straight men can have Twins boyfriends as can gay women as can neutered Batkitties! Everyone can have a Twins boyfriend!

Do I have a boyfriend?Most likely. Look into your heart. Isn't there a player that just makes your cheeks flush a little bit? Someone about whom you'll brook no criticism? Someone whose bobblehead you have, and a jersey, too, and maybe even a lock of hair?

That, dear reader, is your boyfriend.

Do the members of Team Batgirl have boyfriends? You bet! Goober sure likes the Boom Boom of Justin Morneau, and Sooz just loves the on base stylings of Shannon Stewart, and Batgirl, well, Batgirl's got her eye on a young catcher with the swing of a natural. And Jeb? After a tough off-season loss Jeb has found that a certain freckle-faced outfielder/DH has helped temper the loss.

What is the Boyfriend of the Day, or B.O.D? With every Twins victory the B.O.D. Supreme High Commandress will select that Team Batgirl boyfriend who has most contributed to said victory. That boyfriend will be the Boyfriend of the Day, and the corresponding member of Team Batgirl will get a point in the B.O.D. competition.

Who is the BODSHC? Why, Batgirl of course.

Does the BODSHC accept whining and/or talkbalk? Under no circumstances. The BODSHC's rule is absolute.

What happens if no Team Batgirl boyfriend (TBB) deserves the coveted B.O.D.? Well, whenever a boyfriend fails to distinguish himself (or when a non-Team Batgirl's boyfriend gives an exceptional performance) the BODSHC will give the award to a non-TBB. Since that person will invariably be a boyfriend of someone in Batgirl's vast and passionate readership, that point goes to the readers.

Who won the B.O.D. in 2004? Why, the readers of course! Followed by Jeb and Sooz. Here were the final standings. Field/Readers 20, Corey/Jeb 12, Shannon/ Sooz 12, Dr. Morneau/Goober 9, Chairman Mauer/Batgirl 6.

This is fascinating! Where can I read more about the history of boyfriends and the B.O.D.? Why, just look here, in Batgirl's archives!

Posted by Batgirl at April 4, 2005 07:29 PM