Poor DJ Cuddles. Yesterday he went 3-3 with the game winning home run and managed to survive defensively during the Return of Corey Koskie, but he still finished second in the B.O.D. race to My. Kyle Lohse who gave the Twins exactly the pitching performance they needed. Today, Batgirl had already addressed the B.O.D. telegram to him, what with his genius 13 pitch at bat with the bases loaded, and she was just calling the messenger service to arrange delivery when Joe Mays pitched out of trouble in the seventh. Then Mays came back in the eighth and Batgirl hung up the phone. Then the ninth, and Batgirl ripped up the telegram and started to type a new one. Diamond Joe pitched a nine inning shutout in ninety-three pitches (and no walks), which, really, is mad hot. And that hotness makes you, Joe Mays, the Boyfriend of the Day.

Field/Readers 7, Jeb/Lewwww 6, Goober/Dr. Morneau 4, Sooz/ Stewie 4, Batgirl/Joe 2.