Weekend Round Up. Twins at Texas.
Friday. Rangers 6, Twins 0.
Saturday. Twins 7, Rangers 2 (11 Innings)
Sunday. Rangers 2, Twins 1.

Wait?
What happened?
Was it all a mirage?
Wasn't there--forgive me, but I must ask--wasn't there very recently a time when we didn't watch the games in utter agony, knowing that if our opponents scored at all, all would be lost?
Wasn't there a time when the ass-bats went away?
I feel that there was, I feel it as if it were honestly yesterday, or at least last week.
I remember Bitch Sox sweeps, late inning heroics, three run home runs, players of the week, I remember Tony Gwynn, Kent Hrbek on a potato, Whitesnake, I remember mama, I remember sunshine and daffodils and hope—oh yes, I remember hope.

Do you remember hope?

Something must be done. Batgirl, I'm afraid, is becoming a little unhinged. Nobody quite likes the look in her eye, least of all me. And I, I am Batgirl. So, you see, we have a problem.

What happened? Did I anger the Gwynn somehow? Did I? I did my best, you know, I tried to please him, I did everything I could, but it wasn't enough.

Clearly, I need to do more. And I think, if you'll watch this footage, I have.

The Lego guys use their Equity break to chit chat.

Lego Terry Mulholland to Lego Lew Ford: "Do you like gladiator movies?"





"Well, Grandpa Terry, I—oh, Batgirl? You need me?"





"Sure, Batgirl," says Lego Lew, "I'll come over there."
"Hey," mutters Lego Terry, "Batgirl doesn't look quite…on…"

"Hey Batgirl," says Lego Lew, "it sure is dark in here….ACK!"





"Huh? What? Where am I? ...Why does my head hurt?"





"What the—"





"Hey, um, does someone smell smoke?"





"Holy Gandalf's Ghost!"





"It's burning my ass!"

I know you're angry, Tony, and I think you can see that whatever it is, I'm really sorry, and I'll do whatever it takes to placate you. Just give me a sign, Tony. If you want me to sacrifice Lego Lew Ford, keep the ass-bats going. Whatever it takes, Tony, to make you smile on us again.