As everybody knows, the Morneauvians first crossed the land bridge to Canada approximately 26,000 years before the advent of the designated hitter. At that time, of course, the Morneauvians were required to field their position. And thus, a great tradition was formed. Mighty sluggers who could also get around a little bit in the field, from Larry "Ridley" Walker to Corey "Korey" Koskie, came down from the great north woods to teach their southern neighbors a thing or two aboot sports. This was well before baseball or even BAK was invented, so these Morneauvians were limited to kicking dust with their feet and shoving tree bark in their cheeks. Nonetheless, it made quite an impression on their southern neighbors. And so the Morneauvians became well known for their crotch-grabbing, cute accents, and taciturn dispositions.

BAK was first brought over from Europe via Iceland. The Icelandic BAK team was on its way to an exhibition game in Greenland when its ship was blown perilously off course, finally landing in L'Anse aux Meadows in about 1000 A.D. When the snows receded in mid-July, the Icelanders named the land "Vinland" and challenged the Morneauvians to a friendly game of BAK. The Morneauvians batted around in the first, second and third innings, prompting the Icelanders to declare the natives hostile, and -- after invoking the ten-run rule -- sail back to Iceland with their skotti between their knjá-liðr. There they awaited the arrival of the Sugarcubes and warned all who came by to never, never sail to the west again.

A whole bunch happened after that -- something about the fur trade, loyalists, some angry hockey goalies, and Quebec -- but my guess is that most of this will be glossed over in the history books. Instead, the historians will look to a midsummer day in Pittsburgh in the early part of the third millennium A.D. There they will see a young lad with a cute accent and taciturn disposition bring another set of buccaneers to their knjá-liðr. Like the Morneauvians of old, they will say, a bona fide Boyfriend of the Day.

Goober/Doctor: 10; Readers/The Field: 9; Batbaby/Torii: 6; Batgirl/Chairman 4; Jeb/ Lewwww3; Sooz/Stewie 2.