Twins at Orioles. Orioles 6, Twins 3.

When Little Nicky Punto was, well, littler, his mother sat him down one day and had a serious talk with him. "Little Nicky Punto," said she, "I know it must be tough to be so much smaller than all of the other boys, but I just want you to remember that size is measured in all sorts of ways. You may not be the biggest boy on the block, my sweet, but you can be the biggest ray of sunshine. Remember that."

Truly, advice to take to heart. And Little Nicky did. Right then and there, he vowed to follow his mother's advice. This trait served him very well through his youth, because if there's one thing the boys in the neighborhood like, it's someone who strives to be the biggest ray of sunshine on the whole block.

Why he didn't fit in with the Phillies is a great mystery, but when LNP was traded to the Twins, he stood on a crate in the clubhouse and proclaimed, "I'm so glad to be here and be a part of this team. I just want you guys to know, whenever things look dark in your soul, I want you guys to open up the windows of your heart and let a little Punto in. I think you'll find you'll be glad you did."

So, whenever a Twin struggles, you can find Little Nicky there, trying to let a little Punto in. Like tonight. When Carlos Silva gave up a homer to Nick Markakis, the second batter of the game, Punto came sprinting out to the mound to offer some encouragement.

"It's okay, Chief," said Punto. "One bad pitch, that's all. You can do it."

"I can?"

"Of course you can! You're Carlos Silva! Now get out there and show them!"

"I will!" Silva said brightly. "Thanks, Little Nicky Punto!"

In the third inning, when Brian Roberts led off with a solo homerun, Punto sprung to the mound again.

"It's okay, Chief! Two bad pitches, that's all! You're doing great!"

"He hit the shit out of that thing!" said Silva.

"Sure, but it's just one run. Don't worry, Carlos! Turn that frown upside down! Now, it's Markakis again. You show him who's boss, okay?"

"Okay, okay," nodded Silva. "Thanks, Little Nicky."

Two pitches later, Markakis had hit the ball over the right field fence, and Punto found himself out on the mound, slightly breathless.

"Oh...my God," said Silva, weeping slightly.

"No, no, Chief, don't despair! Just think, he can't possibly hit another homer off of you!"

"Oh, man, this is going to suck," breathed Silva.

"No, Carlos! Don't say that. Every time I get down, I just sing myself a little song. And it goes like this:"

Cheeeeer up! It's all gonna get better
Cheeeeeer up! How bad can it be?
It's a world full of magic, of unicorns and rainbows
It's a world filled with love for you and me!

"There. Now, do you feel better?"

"I guess. Thanks, Little Nicky Punto."

Well, after Markakis' third homer of the game, Little Nicky Punto had to sing several more verses of his song, which was a bit taxing as improvisation is not one of Punto's skills and he couldn't come up with anything to rhyme with "empowerment." By the time Corey Patterson went yard, Punto could think of nothing to do but run into the clubhouse bathroom, kiester a small unicorn, and pull it out of his ass in front of the pitcher--to no avail.

And after the game, as Silva sat in the clubhouse with his head in his hands, Punto put his arms around his friend and said, "Don't worry, Chief. Other than the solo homers, you pitched great!"