First off, a huge BODSHC shout out to young Master Matt Garza for his first major league win, a quality start, and giving us all reason to breathe again. But the BOD is not to be his, yet—BG doesn't want to give him too much in one night. And his line was helped tremendously by some truly tenacious D, including a whopper of a catch by our erstwhile third baseperson. And the glove work was merely the cherry on top of a delicious offensive powerhouse sundae. Quietly, Cuddy is moving ever-closer to 100 RBIs for the season, and Batgirl, for one, thinks that would be mad hot. He's a streaky cat, that DJ Cuddles, and if he chooses to streak us all the way to the playoffs that's just fine with Batgirl. Three for five, two doubles, two RBIs, and one beautiful catch—that makes you, DJ Cuddles, the Boyfriend of the Day.

Goober/Doctor 21; Readers/The Field 20; Sooz/(Cuddy) 11; Batbaby/Torii 10; Batgirl/Chairman 7; Jeb/Lewwww 4.