You want to bring us down? You want to mess with us? Really? You can't. Oh, you can try—you can sure as hell try, what with your relentless "coming back" and your big-hitting Jermaine Dyes. Sure, we can get down, but we're not out—no, no. We're never out. We've got these guys, you see, they call 'em piranhtas, and they might be little, and they might have broken parts, and they might make choo choo noises when they run, but they're going to get you, you see, they're going to get you in the end. They're going to make great plays, they're going to run like hell, and they're going to get hits when they're needed, they're going to smell those RBIs and damn they smell tasty. And you know what else? Things might get a little tense here and there. The whole bullpen might fall apart around us. And then they might call this kid in with the bases loaded and a 2-0 count, and on deck is this guy who hit the ball 700 feet against him the day before, and he gets out of it with the lead in tact. And you know what else? Then you’re the 13th man in a twelve man bullpen and you’re the only guy left who can pitch and the game is all in your hands and everyone is scared pantless and you know what? You do it. You get in there and you say, "No one knows who I am but I wear my socks the right way and tonight these bitches are mine." And that's why you, Little Nicky Punto and the Piranhtas, and you Sideshow Pat, and YOU, Will E. Eyre, are the co-Boyfriends of the Day.

Goober/Doctor 21; Readers/The Field 21; Sooz/(Cuddy) 11; Batbaby/Torii 10; Batgirl/Chairman 7; Jeb/Lewwww 4.