There is much rending of garments and gouging of eyes in Bitch Soxia. The Chicago Tribune has an excellent recap of last night's game, which -- to paraphrase Anthony "Broadcasts Sans His" LaPantas -- must be why Abner put lines down on a field in the first place. Money praise:

I'd rather do anything in baseball than face those piranhas," Guillen said. "They're hungry, and they show people they're hungry. I love those guys, I really do. I enjoy my team, but I love the way [the Twins] approach the game."

But doesn't Guillen take pride in the way his team approaches the game?

"We're not rah-rah," he said. "That's special stuff over there. No big names, no big-money people, no big stars, but the way they go about their business is awesome. I call them little piranhas because ... those guys bite little by little, and all of a sudden you're dead. I love it, I'm sorry.

"A better team than mine? No, but I love the way they play the game."

If he was trying to soften up the Twins, it backfired, because they won for the 51st time in their last 70 games.

Somebody send that man a "Gotta Smell 'Em" t-shirt.

The Sun Times is also suitably gob-smacked.

Mr. Baseball No. 1 outlines the most important defensive play of the evening.

Will Young goes through a detailed WPA for the game.