Tempting to give this to the Orioles pitching, or at least the strike zone tonight, but of course the BOD is Boyfriend of the Day not Theoretical Concept of the Day—which applies both to the strike zone and the pitching, apparently. No matter, the Twins are well on their way to the inevitable 162 win season, thanks to some patience at the plate (And I do mean some Sweetcheeks), especially by Little Nicky Punto who curled up into the tiniest ball possible to walk in the first and third inning. Punto set the plate for Mr. Michael Cuddles, clean-up hitter extraordinare, who hit the little midget in both times accounting for the first run and what would be the winning run, then seriously messed up his dimples by taking one on the chin—and that makes you, DJ Cuddles, the Boyfriend of the Day. Now, go put some ice on that.

Goober/ Justin 1, BabyDash/Bart 1, Sooz/Cuddy 1, Batgirl/ Chairman 0, BatCub/Torii 0, Jeb/LNP 0, Readers/Field 0.