Detroit at Twins. Tigers 2, Twins 0.

Well, the good news for Twins fans is that trainer Jim Kahmann apparently managed to extricate Nick Punto from the gullet of Detroit pitcher Nate Robertson. As loyal and talented Batgirl regular Al says, Utility infielders play an important role in our society, and we cannot allow them to get eaten.

The bad news is today's starter, Jason Johnson, managed to swallow the entire Twins offense whole. You would think eating a concept would be more difficult than eating a utility infielder, but when that concept has managed just five runs in three games apparently it's easy as pie. Light-hitting pie. Without whipped cream.

Here's a lesson for the kids: being on the receiving end of a complete-game shutout is much less fun than being on the giving end. On the receiving end, your batters manage only five hits—and anything which even resembles a rally is promptly extinguished by a series of increasingly desperate-looking strikeouts. Come on baby, luck be a lady, this pitch is mine, I'm going to hit it yard, not just a little yard but way yard, and I don't care that it's coming to me neck-high, I'm going blast this thing then go home for the All-Star Break and my momma's going to make me a pie. That's right, a delicious, handmade Momma-pie with whipped cream, just as soon as I crank this neck-high pitch…

Oh, crap.

So, that's pretty much how it went today, with slight variations here and there, like Jacque Jones trying to extend a double into a triple with two outs in the eight and violating that cardinal baseball law, "Never make the third out at third base when your entire offense has been swallowed whole."

Johan, meanwhile, had a shaky beginning—which for him means requiring more than nine pitches to retire the side. And, just as in that last loss, there was that one bad pitch that ended up being the whole game—in this case, a two-run homer by Eric Munson. (This after the Tigers made two outs at home, thanks to some hot-hot boyfriend-on-boyfriend Koskie-Mauer action.)

But a few innings in, Johan was his old self again, pitching through eight innings and striking out eleven. You couldn't really blame him for being a little distracted at first, after Cleveland starter Jake Westbrook was selected over him for the All-Star Game. Sometimes I think Joe Torre just doesn't respect the Twins. No really. Say what you will...I'm entitled to my opinion.

Ah well. A three-game losing streak isn't the best way to go into the All-Star Break, but it sure beats the holy hell out of an eight-game one. (See: Last year at this time.) We wish all the Twins a happy and relaxing break, filled with all the pie they want—as long as they remember to come back hungry.