Bitch Sox at Kansas City. Weekend Round-Up.
Friday. Royals 7, Sox 5.
Saturday. Sox 5, Royals 3.
Sunday. Royals 7, Sox 3.

Just a few short days ago, Batgirl referred to the Kansas City Royals as beeyatches. There may have been some other things said, too, Batgirl doesn't really remember. The point is, Batgirl was not herself at the time—it was the jet lag talking, the booze, quitting coffee, quitting sniffing glue, bad prescription drug interaction, AJ made her do it, her words were taken out of context, they were distorted by the media, plus she totally didn't know we were live. But regardless of the unassailable and incontrovertible fact that Batgirl was not remotely responsible for her own actions, nonetheless she would like to officially extend her sincerest and most humble apologies to that most noble and esteemed organization, the Kansas City Royals, and to its fans—both of them. Because Batgirl is here to tell you the Kansas City Royals are the greatest team in baseball.

What is it that I love so much about them? Is it the cuddly yet insouciant charms of their mascot Sluggerrr? The unabashed abecedarian orgy inherent in every second-to-first play (Grudzielanek to Mientkiewicz, oh my)? The deceptive schoolgirl innocence of bullpen pitcher Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble, whose lips say no and his eyes say, yes, yes? Or is it—oh, I don't know—the fact that they took two of three from the Bitch Sox this weekend?

Hard to say. All Batgirl knows is when the Twins performed their two-day long dramatic leotards-and-stools re-interpretation of that cherished Keats poem "Ode on an Ass Bat" last Tuesday and Wednesday, it seemed for a moment like it might actually be something wrong with the Twins themselves. Silly Batgirl. The Royals juggernaut cannot be stopped, and soon the New York Yankees will find themselves just one more Landed Gentry pancake, with blueberries and maple syrup and whipped cream on top, and afterwards they can coming weeping into the arms of the Twins and the Sox, and we'll hold them oh-so-gently and say—we know, sweethearts, we know.

BatNote: Listen to MPR at 11am Monday for the annual State Fair Twins show with Howard Sinker—or else go watch them live at the Fair and ask questions for PRIZES—and eat something on a stick for Batgirl.