Batgirl

B.O.D and Boyfriends: A FAQ

Now that the season is upon us, Batgirl would like to take some time to review the concept of "boyfriends" and, of course, the storied "B.O.D." competition. So we present:

BOYFRIENDS: A FAQ

What is a boyfriend? A "boyfriend" is that special Twins player that makes your heart go pitter pat. It has nothing to do with physical attraction; straight men can have Twins boyfriends as can gay women as can neutered Batkitties! Everyone can have a Twins boyfriend!

Do I have a boyfriend?Most likely. Look into your heart. Isn't there a player that just makes your cheeks flush a little bit? Someone about whom you'll brook no criticism? Someone whose bobblehead you have, and a jersey, too, and maybe even a lock of hair?

That, dear reader, is your boyfriend.

Do the members of Team Batgirl have boyfriends? You bet! Goober sure likes the Boom Boom of Justin Morneau, and Sooz just loves the on base stylings of Shannon Stewart, and Batgirl, well, Batgirl's got her eye on a young catcher with the swing of a natural. And Jeb? After a tough off-season loss Jeb has found that a certain freckle-faced outfielder/DH has helped temper the loss.

What is the Boyfriend of the Day, or B.O.D? With every Twins victory the B.O.D. Supreme High Commandress will select that Team Batgirl boyfriend who has most contributed to said victory. That boyfriend will be the Boyfriend of the Day, and the corresponding member of Team Batgirl will get a point in the B.O.D. competition.

Who is the BODSHC? Why, Batgirl of course.

Does the BODSHC accept whining and/or talkbalk? Under no circumstances. The BODSHC's rule is absolute.

What happens if no Team Batgirl boyfriend (TBB) deserves the coveted B.O.D.? Well, whenever a boyfriend fails to distinguish himself (or when a non-Team Batgirl's boyfriend gives an exceptional performance) the BODSHC will give the award to a non-TBB. Since that person will invariably be a boyfriend of someone in Batgirl's vast and passionate readership, that point goes to the readers.

Who won the B.O.D. in 2004? Why, the readers of course! Followed by Jeb and Sooz. Here were the final standings. Field/Readers 20, Corey/Jeb 12, Shannon/ Sooz 12, Dr. Morneau/Goober 9, Chairman Mauer/Batgirl 6.

This is fascinating! Where can I read more about the history of boyfriends and the B.O.D.? Why, just look here, in Batgirl's archives!

Meet Team Batgirl

Team Batgirl

BATGIRL: Gentle, unassuming writer by day. Twins batgirl by night.

JEB:
Batgirl’s gorgeous and sexy husband. A scholar and a gentleman.

GOOBER:
Batgirl’s brother, pinch blogger, and guardian of the site's legalese.

SOOZ:
Batgirl’s fashionable sister-in-law. Twingo fanatic. A sweet smile hides a ruthless competitive nature. Don’t cross her.

Associate members:

JVG:
Batgirl's beloved web master and Batgirl draw-er. Cartoonist, artist, writer, and gentleman. Not so much with the baseball, lots with the sass.

Nickname Guide

Current Twins
Cisco/The Kid/The Cisco Kid=Francisco Liriano
The F-Bomb=Liriano
Boo Berry=Juan Rincon
Count Chocula=Joe Nathan
The Chairman=Joe Mauer
The Doctor/Dr. Morneau=Justin Morneau (Because his name sounds like the movie The Island of Dr. Moreau. And it'scool.
JustIncredible=Justin Morneau
Mrneau/Mrnie=Justin Morneau.
Supernatural=Johan Santana
El Presidente=Johan Santana
The Vice President/The Veep=Joe Nathan, nominated by the readers to run on Santana's ticket.
Twitchy McXanax=Joe Nathan. He gets a little nervous and twitchy.
Automatic=Joe Nathan
The Jackal=Carlos Silva, i.e. Carlos the Jackal.
Sweetcheeks=Torii Hunter
Li'l-Rod=Luis Rodriguez
LNP/Little Nicky Punto=Nick Punto
NBP/Naked Batting Practice=Mike Redmond
DJ Cuddles/Cuddles McDimpley=Michael Cuddyer. (Because he has an extensive CD collection, and he's so cuddly.
Bart=Jason Bartlett
Kubes=Jason Kubel
Shaggy=Matt Guerrier

Former Twins
T-Fat or T-Phat=Tony Batista
Little Sweetcheeks=Jacque Jones
J. Ro=J.C. Romero
LeRoy/ Big LeRoy=Matt LeCroy
Li'l Abner=Brent Abernathy.
No Balls= Grant Balfour
Mango Face=Henry Blanco

Legovision: An Archive

2005:

After a mixed weekend defensively, the Legos band together to reward defensive excellence.

After being asked to reenact an extremely pathetic play during an ill-fated Twins at Boston game, the Legos go on strike.

During a mid-season slump, Batgirl and Jeb lose their Twins access and have to reenact the game for themselves.

Legovision takes a break from the Twins to look at what happens whenFrank Thomas returns from the DL.

In an early game in April, Pudge Rodriguez and J.C. Romero draw swords. Legovision has the scoop.

In the first entry of the not-quite season, Legovision looks at the Congressional steroid hearings.

2004:

In the last entry of the season, Legovision shows what happens when Terry Tiffee decides to try to bowl over one Pudge Rodriguez,

In this July 28th entry, Legovision documents a bench-clearing brawl between the Twins and the Bitch Sox.

This formed a return to Legovision after a long absence, due to this reenactment of the infamous 3-2-9 double play against the Royals. After that, nothing else seemed to merit Legovision.

This late May entry imagines what happened during the Lombo/Gladden brawl in '88.

A few weeks earlier we documented the final play of an extra-inning Twins/Mariners game in which Shannon Stewart lept over catcher Dan Wilson to score the winning run.

Before that came a fight between Corey Koskie and umpire Marty Foster in Seattle.

Our second Legovision documented an exicting Lew Ford honerun, and the very first Legovision ever showed our readers the suicide squeeze play versus Detroit.

Oh Five! A Batgirl musical.

And now, for your pleasure, a Batgirl Musical Oh Five!.

This is 18MBs. Do not attempt without extremely high-speed internet. Really.

To download OH FIVE, to access the lyrics, or the MP3, please click here.

Comments Policy

Batgirl loves all her readers and adores when they post comments, except when those comments are profane, insulting to other posters, or otherwise not-in-keeping with Batgirl-ness. Such comments will be deleted poste haste.

This is a Twins fan site. Non-Twins fans are welcome, as long as they remember Batgirl is a place for Twins fans to feel at home. Friendly discussion is welcome. Hostility and taunting is not. Or, in the words of Batling Haplo, "Don't be annoying." This is a Batocracy.

Batgirl can and will delete whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Post at your own risk.

Legalese

Batgirl's lawyers, those teeming masses yearning to be litigation-free, have advised Batgirl to make the following disclaimer:

batgirl (n)  pl: batgirls a young female who takes care of a team's baseball bats and other equipment.

Batgirl, the blog, refers to the noun defined above, rather than the caped crimefighter trademarked, copyrighted, and vigorously protected by the good citizens at D.C. Comics.  Batgirl, the blog, and Batgirl, the blogger, expressly disclaim any relationship to D.C. Comics or the D.C. comics character, even though they are all wonderful people and the D.C. comics character herself fights crime. Not civil violations like copyright infringement, but way serious crime, and that makes the world a better place. Besides, nocturnal flying mammals of the order Chiroptera, having membranous wings that extend from the forelimbs to the hindlimbs or tail---not to mention anatomical adaptations for echolocation---expressly gross Batgirl out.  Batgirl is associated with the stout wooden cudgels, wider and heavier at the hitting end, used by the Minnesota Twins to smack the crap out of American League pitching. Or at least they try really, really hard. Just like Batgirl. Batgirl is not associated with Major League Baseball or the Major League Baseball Players Association. She is also not associated with the Minnesota Twins---although, you know, she's totally available.  

The copyright and trademark rights for images on this site are held by their respective owners.  Any images or text on this website are used under the fair use doctrine, codified at 17 U.S.C. § 107.  All trademarks and service marks of the Minnesota Twins and other major league teams are the property of Major League Baseball.  Original content on this website is the sole and exclusive property of Batgirl's Baseball Blog, Inc., natch. Batgirl's Baseball Blog is a Minnesota corporation/conglomerate.

Link Policy

Batgirl links to Twins blogs and sites. If you have a Twins blog, let Batgirl know and she will link to you. If your site is not primarily devoted to the Twins, alas, Batgirl shall regretfully decline the opportunity to link.